Post-Apocalyptic Dating Survival Guide
by noparty4kitty
Summary: 8 years out of the ZA, and things have started to settle down, at least for Stella. She's happy, mostly, living with a group in a former self-storage facility somewhere in the rural south. But she's lonely, and of course that's where Daryl D. comes in. (Can you tell where this is headed? ;-)) Rated M for pottymouth characters and future smut.
1. Chapter 1

**...in which a hot stranger rolls into town**

So I was out working in the community garden when Liza ran past and yelled to us the big news. By working I mean, I was covered in cow manure and other muck while sporting a nice, new sunburn. Keep that in mind while you are reading the next bit. A new group had approached our compound and was being let in. It had been a year since the last group came through, so this was pretty big news.

"Oh, please let one of them be a nice, eligible bachelor for my dearest friend, Stella!" joked my friend, Marie.

"Shut up," I told her, but appreciated the sentiment. She was constantly worried about my being single, especially since she got married last year. I always had a little hope when a new group came through, but so far, no luck. When the last bunch came, they ended up filling some needs, so they were allowed to stay. It swelled our numbers from 25 to 31, but it was no one that fit the bill in the romance department.

To explain a bit, we were about eight years out of a zombie apocalypse. Yep, you heard right. The one so many b-movies and campy TV shows warned you about. I won't waste time on the details, as you've probably heard something along those lines before, but suffice to say I was now living in a walled compound with armed guards on duty 24/7 to protect us from the living dead. I had been here for about seven years now, and considering the few other options I had under the circumstances, it really wasn't such a bad deal.

"Don't you get excited at all at the potential new faces? If nothing else, maybe somebody will at least be fun! Me, you, Matt and Tom don't make much of a party." She took off her sunglasses for a second, and squinted in the direction where they would be coming from. I think the hardest thing for Marie about the ZA was that it didn't leave behind much of a social scene. In the previous world, she was a party girl, drinking until the bars closed and she came stumbling home with some random guy.

We were roommates all through college, in the middle of a formerly bustling Midwestern city. She was the party girl, I was the homebody, but somehow we ended up as friends. I married my college sweetheart and moved out to an idyllic farm, while she went to the west coast to work for a billion dollar tech startup. When the shit hit the fan, she sought refuge at our place.

"I guess, but it's probably better not to get my hopes up." Not that it meant I didn't. "Seriously, look what happened when Tom's group came in! I wasn't that interested, but since he was within an acceptable age range, I figured it was worth a shot. And now it's so awkward."

"Desperate times…." We heard a commotion, and a pretty beat-up group straggled in. Marie and I both craned to get a better look, restraining ourselves enough to not run up to the road to gape at the newcomers. "Well, there are definitely some guys."

In reality, there were a few men, a few women and a kid, all of them looking like they went through hell to get here. Which, on further thought, was a fairly accurate comparison.

Then Marie let out a low whistle. "Holy shit, get a look at that one."

The one she was talking about was about the most gorgeous thing I'd seen since television went off the air. My jaw dropped. Beat up jeans, ass-kicking boots, sleeveless shirt.

"Holy mother of God, my ovaries just exploded," Marie panted.

I was mesmerized. Tanned, tattooed, and rock solid, like he bench-pressed tree trunks or something. So remember what I said about being covered in shit and sporting a sunburn? Add to that dirty hair in a ponytail, no bra, ratty pair of cutoff finished off with a delightfully sexy pair of mudboots. Aaaand naturally he caught me staring. He gave me a nod and an amused half-smile as he strutted past. My jaw dropped even further, and I just stood there, open-mouthed, and watched him pass.

"Marie, get over here. I think I'm going to pass out."

0000000

Back at my apartment, Marie was getting herself all worked up over nothing. To be clear, "apartment" was probably a bit of an exaggeration. Technically, it was a garage, but it was private so that's all that mattered. Everyone had a garage here, except for the family who had taken the main office. Our home was formerly a self-storage facility where people paid money for other people to store all the shit they were never going to look at again, which also turned out to be a pretty accurate comparison. The upside was that we had a pretty good amount of stuff we could repurpose, but the downside was…well, just imagine living in a self-storage place, and you'll understand.

"Jesus, Stella, he's PERFECT!" she moaned.

"Goddammit, Marie, you are a married woman!" I chastised her.

"Don't I know it." She frowned, but then brightened. "You have got to get on that, or I might be forced to break my vows."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Did you LOOK at the man? Wayyy out of my league!"

"Honey, it's not like this place is crawling with competition! Or other options for you, for that matter. How long has it been since you got laid?" She raised an eyebrow.

I had long ago quit being offended by the things that came out of Marie's mouth. I chose to focus on her question instead. "Ugh, don't remind me." I didn't want to remember either the length of time it had been OR the person It had been with. "Sex with Tom was about the weirdest, most uncomfortable experience ever!"

"Yeah, but what if it had been the best? Wouldn't you want to know?"

She had a point there. It had been nearly a year since I had had the most awkward sex of my life with the guy who was currently my next door neighbor. She was right that I really had to take a chance, but still, I wasn't sure I could form a sentence to even say hi to this new guy, much less see if he wanted to sleep with me. I said this much to Marie. "Plus, any guy that looks that good is guaranteed to be a douche. All swagger and tanned muscles…." I was momentarily distracted at the thought of the swagger and tanned muscles. "Wait, what was I talking about?"

She sighed. "I miss the old days! If a girl wanted some action, she just picked the guy and put it out there. Now it's all screwed up. Look how long it took me and Matt to get together, and this is now that death is all around us. Seems like we should all be jumping in bed together because life is short." Then she laughed. "Oh good God, I just remembered how terrible you are at flirting."

Again, she had another point. I was about as flirtatious as one of the zombies milling about outside the fence. It always seemed so silly and besides, Ty and I were together since we were college freshmen, so I never had to worry too much about it. In fact, when I met him, I decided he seemed like an interesting guy, so I just asked him out right then and there. Patience was not my strong suit, but Ty always said he loved me for it. Or maybe in spite of it.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Not think about it. Let me get cleaned up, and then let's go get a drink."

000000

One enterprising resident, Barney, had discovered a fully set up still in one of the units and now operated our town's bar. Here in the sticks, EVERY little town at least has a bar. I can't say it was the best tasting liquor I ever had, but it got the job done. Plus, on a beautiful spring night like this one, sitting at one of the picnic tables listening to the people talk, it ALMOST felt like old times. Matt showed up after he got off his shift in the infirmary, and Tom came by when he was done at the guard towers.

Tom was the one with the news. "Well, they're letting them stay. I guess they have enough skills that they'll be useful here."

"Even the old man?" asked Matt, surprised. "He only has one leg, for Chrissake."

"I guess so," Tom said. "He's got some medical training, so I'm sure you'll be meeting him soon."

"How many are there all together?" I asked, trying not to seem too interested.

"Eight. Youngest is about seven or eight, and the oldest is that old guy. Looks like a few around our age, too."

"Oh, that's cool." I played with the ice in my drink.

Marie smiled evilly. "What about James Dean there? The badass who brought the gun show?" She flexed her arms to make sure they got her point.

"Jesus, Marie," Matt huffed, "I'm right here!"

She put her hand on his arm. "Aww, honey, you know I'm just kidding!" He seemed slightly mollified, but not exactly convinced.

"Oh, THAT guy!" Tom rolled his eyes. "ALL the ladies have been asking me about him."

"I think he's PERFECT for Stella!" Marie sang out. My eyes were riveted to the table.

Tom choked on his drink. "Um…sure," he smirked. I glared at him.

"Go home, Marie," I said. "You're drunk."

She ignored that and continued, "All the other people are either married, old, or kids. And you've already slept with the only other eligible bachelor here!"

Now it was Tom's turn to look like he wanted to crawl under the table. I stood up, "Come on," I said to Marie. We walked up to the bar, leaving the guys alone. As I bought Marie another drink, we heard the chugging of a motorcycle, slowly coming down the road. It was him. "Oh, for fuck's sake, are you kidding me?" This guy was unreal. "A motorcycle, too?! He is DEFINITELY a douche. What, does he just ride around, wasting gas on joyrides? Seriously, how self-centered do you have to be to-"

"Shut up, Stella." Marie was swaying just slightly as we watch him park at the unit across the street, and stroll up to the bar. We turned back around and busied ourselves with our drinks, as he came up to the end of the bar. He looked at us. "Do y'all mind if I smoke?"

Marie smiled sweetly at him and shook her head, and then turned to me and hissed, "You are going to talk to him, if I have to force-feed you drinks until you get the balls to do it."

"No fucking way," I hissed back. "Not enough liquor in the world for that."

Marie turned back around to Gun Show. "Since you're new here, let my gorgeous friend here buy you a welcome-to-the-neighborhood drink. Hey Barney," she said, grabbing a token out of my pocket, "this one's one on Stella."

I smiled sheepishly at him, and he raised his drink slightly as a thank you. So I should also probably explain about the token thing. Money was pretty much completely useless anymore. I think at one point in our early days we actually used paper money as kindling for fires. Originally, residents here didn't get any sort of pay. We just worked for room and board and the good of the order. When new materials were gathered, the idea was that they would be distributed evenly among all residents based on what each of us needed. Unfortunately, this plan counted on the fact that people would only take what they needed, but it very quickly became obvious that this wasn't the case for a small part of our population. The solution was to implement a token system.

Every week, we got paid in a pile of old poker chips to use as we saw fit. Each of us got three meals a day from the kitchen, medical care and an allotment of fuel for heat in the winter covered, but we used tokens for pretty much everything else. When a scavenger party came back, you could use your tokens to buy what they had that you needed. As people became more entrepreneurial, the tokens came in really handy. Barney collected the tokens so that he could buy the ingredients he needed to make his liquor from the garden. Liza made lotions and creams and such from ingredients foraged in the woods around our compound. In pre-ZA life, she made a killing selling her "all-natural and artisan" goods to yuppies at farmer's markets.

Anyway, back to Barney's. Marie and I spent the next ten minutes arguing back and forth at a whisper about whether or not I was going to talk to Gun Show. I was insistent that it would happen at a quarter past never, while she was just as insistent that I needed to sack up and do it. Finally, Matt had had enough. He came to the bar to collect Marie to take her home. I gave her a look of complete and utter panic, but Matt said, "Sorry Stella, Marie is cut off." He helped her to her feet and hung on to her waist to keep her upright as they staggered home.

I sat there paralyzed for a few more minutes. I snuck a glance over at Gun Show and realized _oh my God, he was looking at me!_ I attempted a smile. _Say something, anything! _"So…you come here often?" _Oh good lord, did I REALLY just say that? _

To my complete amazement, he chuckled, as if he thought I was just making a joke, and hadn't just opened my mouth and had stupid fall out. He went along with it. "Nah, I'm new to these parts. What's your sign?" His gravelly voice was like fingernails on my back.

"Uhh…stop?" Was I actually engaged in witty banter with this guy? Well, maybe witty was too strong of a word for it, but I would take it! I finally looked directly at him, making eye contact. _Holy shit, the blue blue bluest eyes_. "Haven't I seen you some place before?"

"Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." He laughed again. "Your name's Stella, right?"

"Yeah."

"Nice to meet ya. I'm Daryl." He extended his hand, and I as I reached to take it, I managed to catch my toe on the rung of my stool and land in a heap on the floor. I had a split-second to wonder if I could PLEASE just disappear through the floor, but in an instant Daryl was reaching down to help me up, and Tom (_he was still here?) _had rushed over to make sure I was OK.

I was too mortified to say a word. Tom grabbed my arm, and said, "I think you're cut off, too. I'll take you home." I couldn't bring myself to look at Daryl, but I heard him say as I limped away, "See ya 'round, Funny Girl."


	2. Chapter 2

**...in which we meet some more familiar faces! yay! minus one. boo! **

The next morning came way too soon. Marie and I were back out in the garden, and I was trying desperately to work and to ignore both my raging headache and Marie's incessant questions.

"How are you not hung over?" I wondered aloud.

"I'm never hung over. You should know that by now," she replied.

"You suck." I was attempting to assess this year's tomato seedlings for disease resistance, to compare it to last year's data, and Marie was weeding. Or she was supposed to be, but she definitely was spending more time interrogating me.

"So what exactly did you say to him?"

"It doesn't matter. I fell on my face right in front of him! That cancels out anything REMOTELY clever I might have said to him!" I violently made some notes in my notebook.

"I really think you're worried about nothing. You're a hot girl. That overrides clumsiness." She very delicately plucked the tiniest of weeds from a bed of cucumber seedlings.

Mercifully, we were interrupted by Bob, who was one of our town councilors. There were five of them, and one of their main tasks was assessing all visitors to determine if they could stay. They were also responsible for assigning them their new jobs. He was bringing up one of the new arrivals, a girl who looked about my age, who also appeared to be about six months pregnant.

"Stella, Marie, this is Maggie. She's got previous farming experience, so she's going to be working with you guys. Can you get her started?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah," I said. It was hard to believe they would make a pregnant girl do manual labor like this, but Bob was one who didn't take too kindly to questioning his actions.

Bob left her with us, and made a beeline for the infirmary. "Ugh," Marie said, "he's probably going to go boss them around now. Did you hear how he once wrote an episode of _House?_"

I laughed and rolled my eyes. That was his claim to expertise in the medical field, and he liked to mention it to pretty much everyone as often as possible. I explained this to Maggie, and it brought a slight smile to her face. She still looked like hell, but a slightly better version of hell where you can take a shower and have a decent meal. I was still puzzling over why Bob would assign her to the community garden.

Marie, having no worries about the potential landmine she was venturing into asked, "So are you pregnant, or what?"

Maggie nodded, "Yep." She had sort of a wry smile on her face, but you could see in her eyes she was terrified.

"Seems like kinda bad timing, given the running, and the zombies and all."

"Jesus, Marie, shut up!" Sometimes, I really couldn't believe her nerve.

Maggie didn't take offense. "Trust me, I know. But sometimes, shit just happens…."

"Bob's kind of a dick for making you do this kind of work in your condition," Marie said.

Maggie looked like she might have something to say about "her condition," but restrained herself. Instead, she simply explained, "I requested it."

I took this as my cue to change the subject. "So anyway, what kind of experience do you have?"

Maggie told me about the farm where she grew up, and that ended my questioning of Bob's sanity, at least on this particular subject. She had experience with pretty much every farm-related task, from delivering calves to beekeeping. I pretty much expected every newcomer to exaggerate their skill set to some extent because they were generally pretty desperate to stay. However, I believed Maggie was being completely honest, and I realized that we had hit the jackpot with her. I assigned her to organizing the giant bins of seeds since it was something that wasn't too demanding and also kept her out of the sun, which was pretty intense for a spring day. But she asked if she could help with the weeding, much to Marie's delight. "It would feel good to have my hands in the dirt again," she explained.

Of course, Marie wouldn't let her work in peace. She peppered her with questions, and I ran interference when I could see Marie was getting too personal. Marie seriously had no filter. She claimed that was why she had decided to go into computers. That was a field where bluntness was more of an asset than a liability.

We were able to piece together most of the story of Maggie and her group, and how they ended up here. They had been on the road for about six months, but hadn't found any compound where they were allowed to stay, or any uninhabited place that seemed safe enough. They had been living in a prison for several years, but when the de facto leader - some guy named Rick - was bit by a walker and killed, the infighting started. Maggie said the members of her original group decided they had had enough, and set out for a new place.

"Looking back, we could have stood our ground and thrown the others out since it was our place originally, but none of us had the stomach to fight other people, and that's what it would have gotten to. We'd done that before, and we weren't going down that road again." She stopped talking, and turned her face up to the sun, soaking up some of the rays for a minute.

I took this as my cue. "Are you guys hungry? Let's see what's for lunch in the kitchen."

000000

There are a lot of things you don't ever think about until they are gone. You just take something deceptively simple, like electricity, for granted. Too dark? Flip a switch and turn on a light. Bored? Turn on the TV or look at funny cat pictures on the internet for a while. Power's out? Enjoy the feeling of living like a pioneer for a while, but take comfort in the thought that it will be back on in a few hours. But you never realize how truly amazing something like electricity is until is gone. I mean, GONE gone -100% no-chance-in-hell of coming back, because it would take a wizard to sort out the shit show a power grid would have become after eight years of disrepair.

Because of the lack of power, it was much easier to have a central kitchen in the compound. There was a group of people assigned to planning, cooking, and serving meals based on what food we had access to at that time. Back at the beginning, our scavenger group would come across things like canned goods or pop, or things like that, but that stuff was pretty much all gone. (Some days I would have killed a man for a Coke.) Now it was what could be hunted or collected from the surrounding areas, grown in our garden, or taken from our goats and chickens. But I digress!

After we collected our lunches, Maggie saw a couple of members of her group eating, so she headed over to sit with them. I was about to sit at our usual table, when Marie asked where the hell I was going. "We have the perfect 'in' to go talk to them!"

"I don't want to butt in," I argued. "They don't look like they necessarily want our company."

Maggie saw us arguing and waved us over, so I had no choice but to go and sit down. "This is my dad, Herschel, Carl, and my husband, Glenn." We had clearly interrupted a serious discussion, but Marie for her part, took no notice.

"So how do you guys like it so far?" she asked.

Glenn glared at Carl and Herschel and said nothing. Herschel looked at Marie and me. He didn't answer our question, but rather asked one of his own. "How long have you all lived here?"

"It's been about seven years," I responded.

"You like it pretty well?" Herschel asked.

"Yeah, it's a good place, given the options. It's better than trying to go it alone, that's for damn sure," I said.

"Who runs the place?" Carl asked. The look on his face indicated that he was looking for a very specific answer.

"There's a five-person town council," Marie told him. "We have elections every other year. Although, since there aren't too many of us, everyone pretty much rotates through a spot. We have a couple of people who absolutely refuse, like Stella here, but MOST of us are willing to do our part."

I rolled my eyes at her. The answer seemed to suit Herschel and Glenn, but Carl still seemed skeptical. "And no one has ever tried to, like, seize control or anything?"

Marie and I both looked at him like he had two heads. "Um, no! There are a couple of jackasses who we have to put in their place, but people are pretty much in agreement with how things go here. If you don't like it, you are sent packing," she explained.

Glenn had the next question. "What about security? You guys pretty much just let us in."

"If you play nice with us, we play nice with you," I said simply. "If you had approached aggressively, you wouldn't have made it to the gate." I indicated the snipers along the wall. "It used to happen a lot, but lately people coming through have been much more cooperative. Maybe we're starting to regain our humanity."

Glenn and Carl shrugged, while Maggie and Herschel smiled slightly and nodded. I could tell who the optimists were in this bunch. We ate quietly for a minute, but then I felt Marie give me a sharp jab in the ribs. I glared at her, but noticed she was staring at something, a big grin spreading across her face.

I looked to see what was making her so giddy, and there was James Dean and his gun show, approaching with a little girl who looked to be about seven or eight. Naturally, he was holding her hand and was clearly completely enraptured with listening to her chatter.

"Oh shit, there go my ovaries again," Marie muttered in my ear.

I gave her a death stare, and pretended to be interested in my lunch. _Of course he's good with kids! Of course!_ I was beginning to think that my excuse about not being interested because he must be an asshole was not going to cut it. I realized he was heading this way, so I got up and started to make an excuse about how I needed to go back to work. But Maggie waved at them to come over, and said, "Hang on, you need to meet Daryl and Judith." I wasn't sure I could handle another completely mortifying encounter, but I couldn't think of how to get the hell out of there and not look like a raving lunatic.

As they approached, Maggie said wistfully, "It is SO good to see her smiling again." Glenn and Herschel both had the most sorrowful look on their faces, and Carl wordlessly got up from the table and left. I immediately realized that Rick must have been Judith's father. Even Marie was silent. As the little girl approached, Maggie composed herself again. "Judith," Maggie said, "these are my new friends Marie and Stella."

"Hi," said Judith. She squeezed in between the two of us, and began to describe how much fun she had this morning, hanging out with Uncle Daryl.

The mood at the table brightened immediately, and I had to bite back a grin at Judith's nickname for him. I snuck a glance at "Uncle Daryl." While he looked slightly sheepish, he was clearly in love with that little girl. He ruffled her hair, and muttered, "That's my lil ass kicker." Again, I felt another jab in my rib from Marie. I was going to have a serious bruise there tomorrow.

"And this," continued Maggie, smirking, "is Uncle Daryl."

"Hey Funny Girl, what's happening?" He stuck his hands in his pockets and gave me that damn half-grin. I was suddenly very glad that I had my sunglasses so he couldn't see the panic in my eyes.

"Hey," I replied. I had to get out of there NOW. I VERY carefully stood up, so there wouldn't be an encore of my fall from last night, and told the rest of the group I REALLY had to be going. "It was nice meeting you all." As I fled the scene, I heard again, "See ya 'round, Funny Girl."

00000000

I was trying to bury myself in tomato-related facts and figures, when Maggie and Marie came back. I could tell the minute I looked at them that Marie had found herself an ally in her matchmaking plot. I put my head down on the table, certain I was going to die. "So," I said to them, not lifting my head, "have we all officially reverted to ninth grade?" When I finally looked up, Marie was nearly hyperventilating with excitement, and Maggie actually looked truly happy for the first time all day.

"Well," Marie announced, "your douchebag theory is OFFICIALLY debunked."

I groaned and put my head back down on the table.

"Oh, this is so awesome!" Maggie giggled. "I have so wanted to see Daryl find a girl! He is just the sweetest, most awesome guy! "

"Not to mention smoking hot," Marie interjected. As if we were all blind.

"OK, aren't you guys getting a little ahead of yourselves? I'm not sure if Marie mentioned it, Maggie, but I quite literally fell on my face in front of him! There's no coming back from that!"

"But he gave you a nickname!" Maggie protested. "He only does that with people he likes."

"Is it just people he likes, or people he LIKES likes?" I asked, immediately realizing how ridiculous that sounded.

"Ok, now who's in ninth grade?" Marie snorted.

"You know what I mean," I snapped. This had to end. I glared at Marie. "Under no circumstances are you to do ANY goddamn thing to interfere, or I will take great pleasure in strangling you with my bare hands." I looked at Maggie, and said, "I don't know you well enough to threaten you, so I'm just begging you to PLEASE not say anything to Daryl. Please?"

Maggie reluctantly agreed, but added, "Don't write him off, OK? He really deserves a great girl."

Just what I needed, more hope.


	3. Chapter 3

**...in which daryl discovers stella's hidden talent (ok, keep your minds out of the gutter people!) and we all learn a new game.**

My solution to my near fatal embarrassment: go into hiding. I hid out mostly in the garden shed, eating lunch there, and staying late so I didn't have to walk home with Maggie and Marie. It's not like I didn't have enough to do there. Springtime was usually when my job took over my life, although recent events had left me horribly unproductive. Even though Maggie and Marie denied it, it still felt like they were up to something.

Because now, every time Daryl was working the guard post, I'd hear "What's up, Funny Girl?" when I walked past. I'd smile and give him a kind of a wave, but never stopped to talk. I couldn't decide if he was making fun of me or not.

At band practice, Marie let me know she finally had enough. I should probably explain here, too. Much like everything else in post-ZA life, things had kind of a different meaning than they used to. Just as a storage garage now qualified as an apartment, or some dude selling moonshine qualified as a bar, a couple of people hanging out and playing music qualified as band practice.

One thing I discovered about humankind from living in a self-storage facility was that every single person at one point in their lives or another thought they were going to become a musician. Our new home was a goldmine for the legitimately musically inclined. Of course, anything electric was completely useless, so there had been about a dozen electric guitars and basses, along with a collection of amps, sacrificed for parts for our tinkerers (more on that later). However, if you were interested in acoustic guitar, violin, trumpet, flute, banjo, drums (kit OR bongo), mandolin, or – God forbid – tuba, you were in business.

Back in our pre-ZA life, Marie and I had been in a band with my husband – then boyfriend – Ty, and our friend, Jason. Actually, that's how I met Ty. I had gone to see the indie/punk/country band she was singing with, Human Disaster. (Hey, the name sounded good to college kids, OK?) Ty was playing guitar and writing songs, and Marie was singing. I introduced myself to him after the show, and that was that for me and Ty. Marie likes to claim responsibility for making the match, but the weirdest thing was that she never even brought him up with me as someone I might be interested in.

I had been playing guitar since I was a kid, but I never EVER would have considered playing in front of people. That changed with Ty. We started writing songs together, and he was the one who was able to convince me that I could get up on stage. Marie always sang my songs, although I sang back-up from time to time. I was able to kind of fade into the background on stage, which suited me just fine. As terrifying as it was every single time I had to get up on stage, I have to admit that it was always such fun.

So back to band practice, where Marie had had enough. She showed up early and started right in on me. "Stella, I am seriously disappointed in you," she complained. "I never knew you were such a chicken-shit."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I was not going to give her the satisfaction of my admitting it.

"I can't believe you are HIDING from this guy!"

"I'm not hiding!" I protested.

"Well, than what do you call it? Every night for two weeks, you've come back to your house after work. You turn down all my invitations to hang out. Even if you're afraid of Gun Show, you need to get to know the rest of them better; they are fun people. But the bottom line is that you are hiding, woman, and I don't like it." Marie stabbed at me emphatically with her finger. "I don't even know what you could be doing here! It's not like there's Netflix or the internet to entertain you anymore."

I held up a book. "I am READING. Trying to broaden my mind, unlike some people I know."

She rolled her eyes. "Bullshit. You're hiding and you know it." At that point, Tom and Matt showed up for practice, and miraculously she shut up. Tom knew how to play the violin from his previous life, and he was a welcome addition to the group. I taught Matt how to play the guitar, and he was able to play enough to jam with us.

For years after we had arrived here, I'd resisted Marie's requests to play. Music was so tangled up with my memories of Ty, it was impossible for me to even consider playing. But the funny thing about life after the ZA is that once you are done running, and once you have food to eat and a relative sense of security, you end up with kind of a lot of time on your hands. There's no TV or internet to suck away hours. It's not like you can take a vacation anymore, and shopping is completely out, so you need to find something to do with yourself. Eventually I caved, and Marie and I would play and sing all our old songs. Well, all the songs that I wrote, and any of the covers we remembered. I still refused to play anything Ty wrote. It just seemed…wrong. With the addition of Tom and Matt, though, we were now actually more like a band.

We were about half an hour into practice when Natalia arrived with another one of Maggie's group in tow. Natalia was part of the kitchen staff, and I thought I remembered that that was where the other woman had landed. "Hey guys," Natalia said, "this is Carol."

We all smiled and introduced ourselves. Carol looked to be in her late 40s, and there was something about her demeanor that made me like her immediately. She seemed as likely to give you a hug as to punch you in the face.

"So Carol and I were talking after lunch today and came up with a great idea. What do you guys think about coming to a party tomorrow night to welcome our new residents?" Natalia asked.

"There would be dinner and then maybe a bonfire out by the pond," Carol explained. "Just something fun where we could get to know everyone."

"You guys will bring your instruments, right? So we can have music?" Natalia asked.

My stomach dropped at the thought of playing for this new group (well, pretty much just Daryl), but Marie jumped on the opportunity. Without consulting the rest of us, she said, "Definitely! Sounds like a blast!"

Carol smiled, and Natalia said they'd see us tomorrow night. They continued on to the next place to spread the word.

Marie saw the look of horror on my face, and said, "What? We've played for everyone before." I didn't respond, and she made a face. "Oh, are you kidding me? Is it because –"

I cut her off, saying brightly, "OK, I guess this means we should get back to practice!"

000000

I was glaring at Marie and Maggie as they inspected my extremely limited wardrobe. "Seriously, I KNOW you two were behind this!"

Maggie raised her right hand, laughing. "I SWEAR I didn't hear at thing about it until Marie abducted me from my house today!"

"And I did not put this into motion, but I'm sure as hell going to make sure you don't squander this opportunity!" Marie swore. She turned and looked at me with a smile. "You have to admit, this is a PERFECT opportunity! What guy could resist a hot girl in a band?"

My stomach was in complete knots. It was always agonizing, thinking about performing for an audience. So far, our "playing out" had been pretty casual, kind of a campfire sing-along, with Gary and Andy - a couple older guys - playing banjo and bongo on the covers they knew. We would mainly just play songs people requested, usually ones they remembered from the old days. Then Marie, Tom, Matt and I would play some of our "classics." Another interesting fact about life now was that people didn't seem to care if it was country, folk, pop, blues, or whatever. As long as they could sing along or dance to it, they were happy. It was miraculous how much people lit up when they heard music, and it was surreal to hear people from children to senior citizens asking to hear one of our songs.

"I really don't know what big decision you guys have to make. It's jeans and a t-shirt, the green dress, or the blue dress." When we had arrived here a million years ago, there were piles and piles of clothing to look through, but we were seven years out and the pickings had gotten a little slim.

"I think the green dress would look really pretty with her red hair and blue eyes," Maggie said, holding the dress up to me.

Marie agreed, "It shows off your killer ass-ets." She grinned at me and continued talking to Maggie as if I wasn't there. "In college, she was never this timid. If she was interested in someone, she just went up and told them."

"Yeah, but that was a million years ago now. And the ONLY person I did that with was Ty." I put the dress on and now stared at myself in the mirror, trying to decide what to do with my hair. Maggie came over and started fooling with it.

"Up or down?" she asked Marie. "I'm thinking up."

Marie considered. "Up. Definitely up." Then she told me, "You need to channel that confidence. Seriously, you of all people should completely understand that life is short. Don't waste time on being neurotic. If you want something, go for it."

Maggie was nodding her head emphatically. "Your crazy friend here knows what she's talking about."

I sighed. "OK, I guess I'm ready." I spun around for their approval.

"Smoking hot," Marie said, and I got a thumbs-up from Maggie. "Get your guitar and let's go."

000000

It was another one of those nights where I almost felt like I was back at home. Living for so long with a small group of people really made them like family. As with any family, there were some people that drove you absolutely batshit CRAZY, but they were your family so you got over it. Surveying the people as they arrived, it was funny to think of this motley assortment as family. If you ignored the snipers posted along the perimeter fences, it almost felt like a neighborhood block party.

The kitchen staff had put together quite a spread, set out on a mismatched collection of tables, and Barney had brought some of his "finest" liquor. Actually, this shindig brought out a couple of our homebrew folks. Donnie had been trying his hand, with varying degrees of success, at making fruit wines and had donated some to the cause. If you applied the term "homebrew" a little more loosely, you could also count the weed that Jamie brought. These days, no one was much concerned with what was legal or not. As far as we knew, even Washington, DC was rubble.

We walked up to a table where Matt, Tom, and Glenn were already seated. I set my guitar down and said hi to everybody.

"So I guess you've just spent the past two weeks at your place, getting hotter?" Matt teased. "I'll go grab you guys a couple of drinks. Do you want clear or brown?"

We gave him our orders and sat down. Tom smiled at me. "Seriously, you look great. You should wear dresses more often."

I was kind of puzzled by his compliment, but was flattered anyway. I looked around, pretending I wasn't looking for Daryl, but I was about as sly as a freight train.

"Gun Show's not here," Tom said. "He's working."

I was relieved and slightly disappointed at the same time. "Oh, OK, whatever," I said, trying to be casual. I tried to avoid looking at Glenn, who had a huge grin on his face. I assumed that Maggie had filled him in on the humiliating details, so at least that saved me from having to explain myself. I turned around. "Jesus, where did Matt get to?"

The evening rolled on in a lovely, leisurely way. Everyone ate, drank, and socialized. I got to talk to all the members of Maggie's group, and I was happy that they all seemed like good people. Carl had an intensity about him that was a little intimidating at first, but now that I knew his story, it would be weird for him not to be. And all the kids who grew up right after the ZA had that aura about them. He clearly was a dedicated big brother to Judith and an attentive husband to Beth. I had learned from Maggie that Beth was her sister, and I thought what a lucky person she was that she had both her sister and her dad with her.

As the sun went down, someone started the bonfire. Parties here were always better when the sun went down, if for nothing else than you couldn't really see the walkers who gathered outside the walls and fences. Seems funny how I was able to ignore zombies that were trying to crash our party, but now it was kind of like seeing raccoons or possums, if the raccoons and possums had rabies and wanted to eat you.

The beauty of playing at a bonfire was that I never had to get up onstage. As the fire got bigger, everyone migrated towards it. As we tuned up, everybody got settled in. The first one to shout out a request, as always, was Donnie, who yelled, "Free Bird!" To which Andy , as always, replied, "We don't know that one, you jackass!"

And then we were off. We would play anything from Johnny Cash to the Beatles to Dave Matthews Band to the Black Keys. Once, we made a very weird stab at "Seven Nation Army," by the White Stripes. It's not really a song that translates well to acoustic instruments.

Tonight, we started with "Ring of Fire," and a couple songs later, people were singing along to "Friends in Low Places." By the time we got to "You Really Got Me," people were dancing. We even got requests for a couple of our originals. At that point, Gary took his leave to dance with a "pretty lady," whom I discovered was Carol. Andy decided he needed a drink, so he bowed out, too.

As we started into "Clouds," I was completely, 100% in my element, and I wondered as always why the hell it took me so long to play again. With my songs, I never wrote really logical lyrics because I was more focused on the melody. The lyrics were an afterthought and made sense in only a very abstract way, so I always thought it was kind of hilarious to hear this group of people belting out lines like, _don't try to write your name in the clouds from the ground!_

All was good with the world, and I was digging the happiness I was bringing to my friends and neighbors. And then I saw him and my stomach dropped. Daryl was hanging back from the crowd, but he was there and he was watching and my throat felt like it was going to close up and I was pretty sure I was going to throw up right then and there. And then he smiled, and I couldn't help myself and smiled back.

I looked over at Marie, and she mouthed the word "Finally!" She said something to Tom and Matt, and then leaned over to me and said, "We're going to do 'LRC.'" Tom played the intro on the fiddle, and then Marie and I both started singing. I kept my eyes glued to my guitar, but by the time we got to the chorus, I realized Marie had stopped singing and hung me out to dry. I took a deep breath and continued:

_In a town so small_

_How could anybody not_

_Look you in the eye_

_Wave as you drive by_

_The world is such a wonderful place_

At the end of the song, I looked up, and Daryl was watching me so intensely I felt faint. I excused myself to take a break. Things were starting to wind down, and Tom, Marie and Matt went into some quieter stuff. I made a beeline for the drinks and was chugging a glass of water when Daryl rolled up next to me.

"Hey Funny Girl, where you been hiding?" he drawled. This guy could be reading dictionary entries, and it would sound sexy. My stomach dropped to my feet, and my mind went blank. What was it about this guy that made my brain completely short-circuit?

I shrugged. "I've been busy doing stuff. You know, things." I was extremely thankful for the dim light of the torches, so he couldn't see me shaking.

I was rewarded with that gravelly chuckle. "Sounds important."

"Oh yeah, things are very important," I rambled. "But the stuff is pretty critical, too."

Another chuckle. "You guys know how to party here. Pretty crazy shit to go from being on the road, dodging walkers, to being here in Mayberry." He looked around. "Who woulda figured Mayberry was a U-Store-It. You like it here?"

"Yeah, it's a pretty good setup, and the people here are generally pretty cool. But you've gotta watch out for Barney Fife. He's kind of a dick."

We started walking back to the fire. "I liked your songs. Didn't expect you to be a comedian AND a rock star," he said.

_Did he seriously just compliment me?_ I was so pleased by his comment that I couldn't think of a snarky bresponse and just said, "Thanks."

"Do you really believe what you were singing? 'Bout the world being wonderful?" he asked.

I looked at the party going on around us and smiled. "Yeah, tonight I definitely do." Feeling a sudden surge of courage, I blurted out, "Do you want to go for a ride sometime? With me, I mean?"

"Yeah, I kinda figured that's who you were talking about," he laughed. "Yeah, I could dig that."

By the time we got back to the bonfire, the group had dwindled to Maggie and Glenn, Marie and Matt, and Carl and Beth. Marie was explaining "Keep or Toss," a game of sorts we had invented to pass the time. Thankfully, this meant she didn't notice my idiotic grin, or how I actually sat down next to Daryl instead of pretending he didn't exist.

The premise of "Keep or Toss," was to name one thing from the old days that you would "keep" and one thing you would "toss." The keeper was something that you miss from your previous life. It wasn't allowed to be something sad, but was supposed to be something frivolous that you'd never expected to miss. The "toss" part was to balance out what you missed, so it didn't end up being a depressing pity party where we just bitched about everything that we didn't have any more. You got bonus points if your keep and toss were connected in some way, although it wasn't like there was a winner or anything. This was a game that had occupied countless hours since we invented it a few years back.

"OK, Matt, you're first," Marie directed. "Show the newbies how it's done."

"Um, I'd keep Toaster Strudels, but toss Pop Tarts," Matt offered.

"Nicely done," Marie commented. "Maggie, your turn."

Maggie thought for a minute, then looked down at her round belly and smiled. "I think I'd keep condoms and toss 'natural family planning.'"

That earned a laugh from everyone, and Marie said, "Technically, condoms are just an endangered species, not extinct, but I'll give you points for creativity. Glenn?"

"I'd keep the internet, and –"

"Nope, too broad," Maggie interrupted. "You need to pick small things; otherwise the game would be done in one round."

Glenn tried again, "OK, I'd keep World of Warcraft and toss Dungeons and Dragons."

We all groaned at this. "What a geek!" Carl teased him.

Maggie laughed. "Thank God there's no internet anymore! I never would have met you because you'd be holed up in your parents' basement!"

As we went around the group, everyone had something to add. Beth said she would keep Loretta Lynn and toss Shania Twain. Marie kept Target and tossed Wal-Mart. We had animated discussions about the relative merits of one person's keep versus another person's. Somewhere during the course of the game, Daryl rested his hand on the back of my neck, and just for a second everything went sideways. It was...indescribable. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and just felt the weight of his hand on me. _Bliss._ I opened my eyes and saw that every single other person around the fire was staring at us, all of them grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I allowed myself a small smile, and Daryl barked, "What the fuck are y'all gaping at?" But he left his hand where it was and I was in heaven.

My turn came up, and I hemmed and hawed, trying to come up with something. Again, Daryl had caused my brain to head off to parts unknown. Everyone started harassing me good-naturedly about not having an answer. While I was thinking, Daryl got up without a word and left. No one said anything, but no one from his group seemed particularly surprised. However, I was wildly distracted and finally said lamely, "Um, you guys will have to come back to me."

**credit where credit is due: clouds is by the long winters and ode to the lrc is by band of horses**


	4. Chapter 4

**...in which stella finally gets some action! and some sweet, sweet action it is**

The next day was murder. After how Daryl left last night, I wasn't sure if he was even still interested in seeing me again, but I also wasn't sure he WASN'T interested in seeing me. On the off chance he WAS interested, I had showered, shaved, fixed my hair, and spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to decide between the two remaining outfits I had. (Decided on jeans because it would be easier to ride in them _just in case_ he came by.) All of this was done by ten a.m., and I then spent a few hours pacing my house, picking up a book and putting it down again, playing solitaire, and picking at a loose string on my jeans. Finally, I realized that sitting there was going to do nothing by drive me crazy, so I decided to head to work to make up for the hours I'd wasted in the past few weeks on my neuroses.

On my way, I came across Beth who was watching Judith and the other kids from the compound playing on the jungle gym. Unlike other things here, this actually was a real gym that had been scavenged from a nearby school. Beth waved as I approached, so I stopped to chat for a minute.

"I was wondering where they put you," I said. "Looks like you're at the school?"

"Yep. I'm glad because I was really missing all the kids at our old place," she replied.

"Did you have a lot of kids there?"

"Yeah." Beth frowned for a minute, but then changed the subject. "I LOVED hearing you guys play last night. It was so awesome to hear music again! I can't tell you the last time I heard someone actually playing songs. Maggie and I and some of the others used to like to sing together, but there's just something so right about having the music."

I smiled. "I know exactly what you mean."

"I was wanting to ask you, do you think I could come sing with you guys some time?" she asked.

"Absolutely! We would love that!" Beth was definitely a kindred spirit where music was concerned, and I was excited to be able to include her.

Beth expertly defused a squabble that developed over who was actually "it" in a game of tag. Then she said, "Daryl's leaving so weirdly last night had nothing to do with you."

At first, I started to pretend like I hadn't really spent all day worried about that exact thing. Then I dropped the pretense and laughed sheepishly. "Oh thank God."

"I think he's trying to avoid thinking about the past. Daryl was Rick's right hand man, but they really were more like brothers. He was with Rick when Rick got bit, and Daryl insisted he be the one to put Rick down when the time came." Beth paused for a second. "We tried to convince him he didn't need to be the one, but he insisted…."

"Oh my God." I couldn't think of anything more to say than that. My mind flashed to the last hours before Marie and I fled our farm. My throat tightened and I closed my eyes for a second and tried to clear my head.

Beth saw my expression and must have recognized a fellow survivor. She looked at the kids playing and said, "Hopefully this next generation won't have to make such awful decisions and carry around such horrible memories." We watched the kids in silence for a few minutes. "You know, I do think he likes you." She glanced over at me to see my reaction, which was a tremendous grin that I didn't bother to try to hide. "He's not exactly chatty when it comes to his feelings, but I've definitely noticed him keeping an eye out for you. There's something different about him when you're around."

Impulsively, I gave her a hug. "I have to get to work, but you need to be sure to come to our next practice."

She smiled and nodded. "Looking forward to it!"

0000000

I was walking home from the garden, singing to myself, when I caught sight of Daryl waiting in front of my house. Of course, he wasn't just standing there like a normal person; he was casually straddling his motorcycle, smoking a cigarette, like some kind of redneck god. My stomach jumped up into my throat, and I had to work really really to maintain my oh-so relaxed and casual pace.

As I strolled up to him, he gave me that deadly half-grin. "What's up, Funny Girl?"

"Nothing much, Gun Show," I shot back.

He snorted at the nickname, and said, "Thought you were gonna keep me waiting here all day."

"Sorry, it was the things and the stuff, you know? They keep me pretty busy," I replied.

He chuckled. "So how do you feel about that ride?" We got on Daryl's bike, and slowly made our way to the gate. On the way we passed by Maggie and Glenn, sitting out in front of their unit enjoying the gorgeous spring night. Maggie was clearly ecstatic, and waved manically at us as we passed.

"Jesus," Daryl swore, "when did she become such a busybody?" Tom was there to open the gate as we approached. I felt awkward for a second, but he gave me a thumbs-up as we passed by. "Hang on," Daryl said, "here we go."

I was oh-so happy to oblige.

000000

The ride was incredible. We did spot some walkers here and there, but we were moving too fast for them to bother us. If Daryl was the kind of guy who killed them for fun, he thoughtfully resisted that urge for our first ride. In spite of everything, spring was still spring, and it was dazzling. Everything was in bloom, and once again I had the feeling that life was almost normal.

It had been ages since I was on wheels of any kind. I spent so much time inside the fence that I almost forgot the town around us existed. After eight years, the buildings were really starting to fall apart, but there was still evidence that people had lived here. I started to get lost in thoughts about the past, so I instead concentrated on what I could feel of Daryl's taut stomach through his thin t-shirt. _How on earth did I manage to pull this off?_ I marveled.

When we got back, he parked his bike in front of his unit and walked me back to my place. I had to ask the question that had been bugging me for weeks. "So I have to know, how the hell do you still have a motorcycle? We are able to scavenge gasoline once in a blue moon, and when we do, they hoard it like diamonds."

Daryl gave me a sidelong glance. "Are you a religious person?"

I raised my eyebrow. I had no idea if he was joking or serious. "Um, I guess. As much as you can be anymore. If God exists, he has a hell of a perverted sense of humor."

"No doubt about that," he said with a wry chuckle. "When we left the prison, I couldn't leave my bike behind. It has...sentimental value. Belonged to my brother. So I took it with me, pretty much thinking every day that I might end up having to ditch it when it ran out of gas. Weird thing is, every time it got close to empty, we ended up finding some abandoned car that had some left in the tank. We always filled up our car first, and then there was enough left to keep my bike going a little farther. Just feels like it's my brother or somebody looking out for me." He glanced over at me again to see my reaction. "Like the loaves and the fucking fishes or somethin'."

I smiled at him and impulsively grabbed his hand as a reply. I'm not sure if I believed it was his brother's doing, but I was seriously grateful that Daryl and his bike had made it here, however it happened.

As we approached my place, my nerves came back with a vengeance. _Oh shit, now what?_ We stood awkwardly at my door. I thanked him for the ride. He said any time. Without thinking, I leaned in and kissed him. I pulled away and started to say something, but he recovered from his surprise and kissed me back. My knees almost buckled, and I braced myself on the door behind me. It was electric. It was like I was lost in a desert, and he was an oasis. It was like I was starving, and he was a buffet. It was like a whole bunch of other stupid analogies, but it didn't matter because _he was kissing me and it was AWESOME. _I pulled him inside and closed the door behind us.

Inside, we made out like a couple of teenagers. It was hands and mouths everywhere. He had me pressed up against a wall. His mouth was warm and wet and soft as he worked his way down my neck and onto my shoulder. He lifted his head and looked at me for a second, and I thought he might swallow me whole. _God, how have I survived without this for this long?_

We came up for air for a second, and I asked, "Do you want a drink?"

"Sure, sounds good," he panted.

I opened a bottle of Donnie's homemade wine and poured us both a drink. My mind was a blank and racing at the same time. While my back was turned, Daryl came up behind me and starting sucking on my earlobe. Again, the knees almost went and I had to brace myself against the table. He had found my kryptonite. _Can't…resist…_

I turned around, and he lifted me onto the table, and we picked up where we left off. He had a nipple between his fingers, _holyfuckingjesus_, and I didn't attempt to stop it. I groaned instead and took my shirt off. I grabbed his ass and pulled him closer. I licked his neck and he moaned. He took his shirt off, and I was enraptured by…those…arms…. He undid my jeans and slid his hand between my legs, and _ohmygooooodddd_. I lifted my ass off the table for a second while he slipped my pants off. Back up my between my thighs, his hand found the sweet spot. I left scratches down his back.

He stopped and looked at me for a second. "Do you wanna-"

"YES!" I searched frantically through the mess on the table to try and locate the condom that Marie had optimistically given me the day he showed up in town. Condoms are like currency here, so it was an extremely generous gift. _I owe her big time for that one. _While I was distracted, he slid his face between my legs and I almost blacked out for a second. _Ohhhhmyfuckinggoooooddddddd._

I recovered enough to give him the condom, and as he got ready, I had a brief thought that I absolutely could not believe my luck. _Yes, I owe Marie big time_.

He picked me up off the table and laid me down on the couch. "Don't want to break your table," he muttered. He was ready to slide into me, but he took me by my shoulders and almost sheepishly said, "Sorry, I know this ain't going to take very long. You don't know how fucking long it's been."

I smiled and said, "Darlin', we've got all night."

000000

After we went through the condom I had and the one Daryl (THANK GOD) had in his wallet, we were lying on the floor. "Wow," I gasped.

He chuckled. "Damn straight. I think we were loud enough to wake the fucking dead."

"Don't worry, they were already up." For some reason, this made me start to giggle uncontrollably. Apparently, the laughing was contagious because he just started laughing this amazing, amazing belly laugh, and it quickly dissolved into near-hysterics between the two of us.

"Jeeeesus Christ," he said when he pulled it together. "I haven't done either of those things in for-fucking-ever."

I grinned. "Me, neither."

He grabbed a pillow off my couch for his head, and then put my head on his (incredibly sculpted) shoulder. We lay in silence for a few minutes, catching our breath. He ran his fingers lightly along my neck and arm, and it gave me goosebumps.

"You want to know what I'd keep?" Daryl asked. "Coffee. Doesn't matter if it's truck stop or Starbucks. I would kill for some goddamn coffee. "

"Oh shit, that sounds awesome," I murmured sleepily. "So what would you toss?"

"Any of that frappe café latte bullshit. Just want some black as mud, strong-ass coffee."

I yawned and stretched. "I don't know how you're still riled up after all the energy we just burned."

He pulled me on top of him. "Just realized what I've been missing for the past million years." He kissed me again and then put his arms around me while I rested my head on his chest. "So are you going to write a song about us, like – what was her name – that little blonde chick? The one who used to write songs about all the boys she dated."

"You mean Taylor Swift?" I laughed. "I don't think I have words to describe this experience. Besides, I don't really write songs anymore."

"Seems like a shame to let all that talent go to waste."

I glowed with the compliment. "Maybe I just haven't been inspired," I joked.

"Guess we'll have to change that." And he kissed me again. I would have been perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life in this exact spot doing this exact thing with him. As we kissed, I could feel him getting hard again.

He dropped his head back on his pillow and sheepishly muttered, "Jesus Christ." I was amazed that it almost sounded like he was embarrassed. "It's just been me and my own hand for a long-ass time."

I giggled and reached down to get a more firm grasp. He groaned, despite himself. "Well, I hope I can compete with your hand," I said as I slid down the length of him, took him into my mouth and finished him off.

0000000

Now we were both lying on our backs, and I had my head resting on his stomach. We were quiet, but my mind was racing with a million questions.

"So what were you doing a million years ago? Before the world went to shit?" Daryl asked suddenly.

"I'd just started grad school."

"Oh, I found me a smart girl," he chuckled. "What were you studying?"

Something about his choice of words made my insides all warm and gooey. "Biology. I was interested in developing drought-tolerant garden flowers. Not exactly the most useful skill now."

"Eh, it's not as bad as some. At least you weren't like your friend with the big mouth and her computer degree." I just smiled and thought that I couldn't wait to tell Marie how Daryl described her. He continued with his questions. I liked the fact that I was that interesting to him. "So when did you have time to be a rock star?"

Man, I really liked how he called me a rock star. I rolled my eyes. "I was hardly a rock star. I just hung out in the background while Marie hogged the spotlight."

"Ya don't say." He smirked and reached for his pants to grab his cigarettes. He lit one up and laid back. "So how did you end up here?"

Ugh, I was not up for the buzzkill this conversation was going to turn into if I answered that question. "Can I have a cigarette?" I asked instead. He fished one out of the pack and as he handed it to me, I asked, "OK, so where the hell do you find cigarettes? I haven't seen a pack in years." I took a drag, and I realized that this pack was probably a pre-ZA vintage. Stale stale stale. I made a face.

"Yeah, they're an acquired taste," he muttered and kissed me again.

0000000

The sun was coming up, and we had at some point moved to my bed where we both conked out. Daryl jerked awake in the morning, waking me up. This was probably the fifth time he'd done that through the course of the night. I remembered those days. It was over a year before I was able to string together more than a couple hours sleep at a time. I definitely didn't miss that. This time, though, he jumped out of bed and started looking for his clothes. "Shit, fuck, fucking shit…" A stream of expletives flew out of his mouth.

I sat up. "What is it?" I got up to help him find the boot that had disappeared during the activities of the night before.

"I gotta work this morning. Fuck!"

"Oh shit." I pulled on a t-shirt and some shorts and watched him as he got dressed. It was kinda sad to see him get un-naked. He saw me staring and leaned over to kiss me.

"Gotta go," he said. I walked him to the door, and we made out for a few minutes before he finally broke away. "Sorry, Funny Girl, I really gotta go."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." As we were standing in the doorway, I saw Tom coming back from his guard shift. I was prepared to duck back inside to avoid any kind of awkward conversation but was shocked as hell when he came up to Daryl and gave him a high-five. Then he gave me a high-five and without a word went into his house. I had no idea what to think about that. One final kiss from Daryl, and he headed off for work. I went back inside to sit and marvel at my unbelievable luck, but then realized I was STARVING and headed to the kitchen instead for some breakfast.


	5. Chapter 5

**...in which Stella gets some good advice and then DRAMA!  
**

I headed to work with a giant, stupid grin plastered on my face. I knew the minute Maggie and Marie saw me, they would know exactly what happened last night. I could hear them talking in the shed as I approached.

"OK, my turn," Maggie said. "I would totally keep Breaking Bad and toss the Kardashians!" I had noticed that she and her group REALLY seemed to like keep or toss. I had witnessed about a million rounds of that game since Marie told them about it. "Now you."

"Um, I'd keep mascara and toss…plastic bags." Marie sounded considerably less interested in the game than Maggie did. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'd heard her use those two items in a game before.

I was able to swallow my smile as I walked up and said good morning, but the minute the two of them turned to look at me, it came back with a vengeance.

"I KNEW IT!" shrieked Marie the minute she saw my face.

"Uhhh, knew what?" I asked with an attempt at an innocent tone of voice.

"Maggie said that she saw you yesterday leaving with Gun Show on his motorcycle." Marie studied me with a critical eye. "And if I am not mistaken, you, my dear, have all the signs of someone who got laid last night."

I ducked my head for a second, slowly nodded and held up two fingers. "Twice."

This time both Maggie and Marie screeched so loudly that Donnie came running around the corner to see what the matter was. "What's going on? Are you guys all right?" he asked, out of breath.

I said, "They're fine. Um, Marie just got some good news."

Donnie looked Marie up and down. "Are YOU pregnant?"

Marie rolled her eyes. "God no! Don't worry about us; we're fine. You can go on about your business. Move along, move along." She shooed him away. Donnie shrugged and went back to work.

Naturally, they wanted all the glorious details, but I was not one to kiss and tell. I did describe to them the motorcycle ride and some of the less explicit particulars.

"I'm surprised you're not walking bow-legged," Marie commented.

This time, Maggie looked at her wide-eyed and said, "Jeez, Marie!"

"Oh, come on Maggie, you know you were thinking it, too!" Marie replied.

"So when are you going to see him again?" Maggie asked me.

I was silent for a minute. I hadn't actually thought much about how this would play out. "Um, wow, I don't really know. Like, what exactly is the normal progression anymore? It's not like we can go out to dinner and a movie." I suddenly started to feel very uneasy. "And it's not like we had a 'where is this going?' talk or anything. Shit, it's not like we talked about much at all. I think I know more about him by what other people have told me than what he's actually said. For all I know, he's just interested in being fuck buddies."

Marie snorted. "Not like that would be such a bad thing." She was definitely right about that.

"Glenn and I started off kinda like you guys," Maggie offered. "But I wasn't sure it was a good idea to get involved with the situation we were in. I mean, what if it didn't work out, and then we were stuck living in the same house? He's an amazing guy, though, so I couldn't hold out for very long." She smiled and paused for a second. "You're right, though; the rules of dating are kind of out the window in a situation like this. What about you and Matt, Marie?"

"I wasn't super interested in him at first. He was nice enough, but I thought he was kind of an idiot."

I interrupted her, "Never one to mince words, are you?"

Marie continued as if I hadn't said anything. "But then we were out on a scavenging run and got separated from the group. We spent about three hours in a tree with a swarm of walkers swiping at us from below before the rest of our party came to our rescue. Once I got to know Matt, I found out he actually WASN'T a moron, just shy. I realized that he was a great guy, and it just snowballed from there." She thought for a second. "We never really 'dated' though. Once we acknowledged our mutual interest, we pretty much saw each other every day and moved in together about a month later. Because, honestly, it's not like I was fielding any other offers."

Maggie laughed. "Wow, you are quite the romantic!"

Their stories succeeded in making me feel better, but didn't help with my big question. "So what do I do next? Should I go talk to him about what he's thinking about us, or just wait and see what happens?" I was really hoping they thought the direct approach would be best because I was definitely not very good at waiting and seeing.

"I think you should just let things progress naturally. It's not like you're NOT going to see him again, since he lives a couple hundred feet away. And Daryl is not a one-night-stand kinda guy," Maggie declared confidently. Then she thought a minute. "Well, I guess I don't know that for a fact, so let's call it a hunch."

I can't say that her hunch made me feel a whole lot better.

"So really, do you WANT a relationship with him?" Marie asked. "I mean, it's obvious you guys have chemistry."

"Chemistry, shit!" Maggie giggled. "More like a nuclear reaction."

I laughed and then attempted to answer Marie's question. "Yeah, I do…well, I guess. I think? I do like him. What I know of him. But I guess I don't really know him…." I trailed off. "OK, I really like being around him, and I would DEFINITELY like to get to know him better. Does that make sense?"

"Clear as mud," Marie replied. "Maggie is right. You should just see how things develop. Just be your normal, charming self next time you run into him. You don't need to have a big 'relationship conversation' with him anyway because the field is pretty much free of competition."

"Oh, yay, so that means I would be his default girl," I said sarcastically.

"Again, would THAT be such a bad thing?" Marie asked with a grin.

0000000

The rest of the day, I mentally rehearsed how to be my "normal, charming self," in case I happened to run into Daryl. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I didn't get a chance to put my ideas into practice because Daryl was nowhere to be found. I ate lunch with Marie, Maggie, Herschel and Carol, but I didn't ask if they'd seen him as I didn't want to seem too desperate. Dinner was with Beth, Carl, Marie, Tom, and Matt, but still no sign of Daryl. Beth asked if we were interested in playing some tonight, so we went back to Marie and Matt's place and practiced for a couple of hours. Honestly, it was a relief to have something to distract me from my thoughts.

Band practice wrapped up, and Tom and I ended up walking back to our houses together. I wasn't sure how to broach the topic of his reaction when I had seen him that morning, but I knew I had to ask because it was seriously the oddest thing I've ever seen him do.

"Sooo," I started, "about this morning…"

Tom laughed. "I think I'm glad I had to work the night shift last night!"

I turned red and grinned sheepishly. "It's just - the high-five and - I'm confused?"

"Oh, I'm just glad he got the balls to make a move. It was weeks ago that he asked me about you," Tom explained.

I was completely stunned. "He…asked about me?" I croaked.

"Yeah, a couple days after he got here. Actually, I think it might have been the day after you fell over on him."

"Oh God." I turned even redder at the memory of that shining moment.

Tom went on, "He was wondering if you were cool, and if you and I had something going. I told him you definitely were cool, and that you and I definitely did not have anything going on."

Once again, I was stunned. I couldn't believe how much I'd misjudged Tom. "Oh wow. I don't know what…thanks," I stuttered.

We were at my house, and he turned to me. "Well, I wasn't lying. I like you, as a friend. It's good hanging out with you but man, we have such a lack of chemistry, it's almost painful."

I was so relieved that I just laughed. "Oh my God, you don't know how glad I am to hear you say that! I don't think I've ever been so happy to hear someone say they don't like me that way!"

"Well, I hope it works out for you guys. You deserve it." Tom smiled at me. "Good night."

"Good night."

0000000

The next day was going to be a killer. It was our first big planting day. In late winter, we had planted trays of seeds which we kept warm in the greenhouses we'd fashioned from old cars. Think about it - is there a more perfect use for an old car? We pulled the seats and stuff out of them, so that there was plenty of flat space for the trays of seedlings. We could adjust the windows up and down to regulate the temperature. It was a ridiculously easy and perfect system. Now the weather had warmed up enough that it was time to get all of those plants in the ground. This would be the first of many back-breaking days on my hands and knees in the dirt. We actually had called in reinforcements from other departments to help with the labor.

This kind of work was too much for Maggie and her giant stomach, so she was doing work inside the garden shed. Marie was working, however reluctantly, by popping seedlings into the holes as I dug them. Of course, I was the one to fill in the holes, too, as Marie avoided getting dirty at all costs. The only reason she was assigned to the garden was that she lied when she arrived here about her skill set. She figured being a computer genius wouldn't help convince them to let her stay, so she made up a story about growing up on a farm. I figured that karma was getting back at her for lying every time she had to come to work in the garden.

Maggie appeared next to use with a basket full of bottles of water. "Hey guys, I thought you might be thirsty. It just came out of the well, so it should be nice and cold."

I gratefully took it from her and took a long drink before passing it to Marie. Eyeing Maggie, Marie asked, "Can't you find ANYTHING for me to do inside? Maggie looks so nice and cool and CLEAN from being in the shed."

"Until you are on the verge of popping out a baby, you are working out here with me," I replied.

Marie filled Maggie in on the conversation we had been having when she walked up. "Stella is stressing because she hasn't seen Daryl since they slept together."

"Yeah, in order for me to act all relaxed and casual when I run into him, I actually have to RUN INTO HIM," I complained. "It's like HE'S hiding from ME now."

"Oh!" Maggie exclaimed. "I totally forgot to tell you. He went out hunting."

"Huh, I didn't realize there was a hunting party going out." There was a group comprised of the best hunters that went out every few weeks, but I didn't remember hearing anything about it. In fact, Andy and Violet, two members of the team, were actually out in the field working as we spoke.

"It was just him. He used to do that all the time back at the old place. I guess he just got the itch and went out. Sometimes it was for an afternoon, sometimes it was for a couple of days." Then she noticed that I suddenly looked like I might have a panic attack and backtracked a bit. "Well, I doubt he'll be gone for a couple of days this time. He'll have to be back to work, I'm sure."

"When did he leave?" I asked.

She seemed reluctant to tell me. "Um, Tuesday after work."

My stomach dropped. "So we hook up Monday night, he goes to work Tuesday and then immediately takes off for the woods?" This did not seem to bode well for our new relationship, whatever that might be. A new thought occurred to me. "And that means he's been gone out there ALL ALONE for almost 24 hours?" I was really starting to freak out now.

Another negative of post-ZA life? When someone left you, there was no way to get ahold of them. Think about the seemingly humble cell phone. You might have taken for granted the fact that if you wanted to reach someone, you could call, text, Facebook, Tweet, or instant message them, all from one handy little device in your back pocket. You knew pretty much at all times what your loved ones, and even people you didn't remotely care about, were doing. You sent a text, and within minutes you got reassurance that the person was actually still alive and well and had not, in fact, been killed by an ax murderer. No longer! Now when someone left, you could do absolutely nothing but count the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until they returned. I always got stressed out when Marie, Tom, or Matt left on a mission. It was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.

Marie gave me her attempt at a pacifying look. "Now, don't get yourself all worked up." She was all too familiar with my wild imagination taking over when people went outside the fence. She looked at Maggie, "Her mind always goes immediately to the worst case scenario."

"What do you expect?" I shot back. "There are ZOMBIES out there who want to EAT PEOPLE, and I'm sure Daryl looks especially tasty!" I miserably started digging another hole.

Maggie jumped in. "Hey," she said soothingly. "Daryl is a pro. He pretty much grew up in the woods and is a crack shot. I have NEVER seen a walker catch him off guard, and trust me, we've run into more than our fair share." She looked down at me and smiled comfortingly. "He'll be back, I promise."

I smiled weakly back at her. "Thanks." I wasn't exactly convinced, but I appreciated her effort.

"OK girls, I have to get the rest of these waters to the others. They are probably dying of thirst right now." Maggie picked up her bucket and started to walk away. She made it a couple of steps before she gasped and dropped to her knees.

Marie and I leaped up and ran over to her. "Oh my God, are you OK?" Marie asked apprehensively.

Maggie was obviously in a lot of pain. She had her hands wrapped around her large belly and was crying. "Something's wrong! It hurts so bad!"

"Come on, Marie. Help me get her up. We have to get her to the infirmary NOW." Marie and I put her arms around our shoulders and helped Maggie to her feet. As she was getting up, she let out another yelp of pain. I yelled to Donnie and Violet who were running towards us, "Go find Glenn and tell him to come to the infirmary right away." Now it was my turn to be soothing to Maggie. "Don't worry, everything will be fine." I really hoped I sounded like I believed that.


	6. Chapter 6

**...in which there is good news and more sexytimes with daryl and stella because, of course there would be**

There was a crowd of people outside the infirmary waiting for news about Maggie. Word travels fast in such a small town, so even those who didn't really know her very well asked for news when they passed by on their way to and from their daily activities.

Marie and I were sitting on a bench. I had succeeded in picking off all of the vowels from the slogan on my t-shirt so it now read "Kp Clm nd Hd Bhnd th Rdnck." Marie had chewed down all of the fingernails on one hand and had started in on the other. Carl was pacing madly back and forth, while Carol tried to distract Judith, who clearly knew something was wrong. Tom and Matt were trying to play a game of war. Beth, Herschel and Glenn were all inside with Maggie. At first, we could hear her crying out in pain every so often, but it had been quiet for the past fifteen minutes or so. None of us were sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.

Suddenly, there was the sound of boots on pavement, and we all looked up to see Daryl sprinting down the road. He definitely looked like he had spent two days in the woods, but I was utterly relieved to see him in one piece. As much as I had the urge to throw myself into his arms, I remained glued to my seat. I could not process a single additional emotion right now. Judith, however, wasn't so conflicted and flung her arms around Daryl's legs. He swept her up into a hug.

"What the hell is going on?" Daryl demanded of all of us. "Is Maggie OK?"

"We don't know anything yet. She started having pains about an hour ago," Carol explained. "We're waiting for someone to come out and tell us what's going on."

Daryl ran his fingers through his hair and gave a frustrated growl. He kicked at a chair leg and lit a cigarette. Through the smoke, he caught my eye and gave me a slight smile but stayed where he was. I smiled back at him tiredly, and then put my head in my hands and stared at the pavement. _Can't…handle…any…more…right…now._

Mercifully, Beth came out a short time later. "She's doing OK," she announced, and we all breathed a collective sigh of relief. "It was just false labor, but the baby's doing fine, too. Glenn and Dad, I'm not so sure about," she said with a weary laugh.

All of us broke out into giddy laughter, spurred on by the release of all the worried tension that had built up among the eight of us. Immediately, everyone started chattering, walking around, and stretching the muscles that had been clenched for the past hour or so. Beth said that Maggie wasn't up for visitors just yet, but that we could come back in an hour or so to see her. Apparently, the stress had made us all hungry, so we started to head to the kitchen for something to eat. As we were walking away, Beth called out, "Hey Marie, Stella, hang on! Maggie did say she wanted to see you guys just for a sec."

Marie and I headed into the infirmary, and I was struck as always by how cool and comfortable it was in there. This was the only unit on the premises that had air conditioning. Remember how I mentioned the tinkerers before? Well, years ago, the town council came up with this idea to create the job of tinkerer. They realized that in order to have any kinds of developments in technology, as rudimentary as they were, the town needed people whose sole job was to mess around with things in hopes that they would invent something that would make our lives here easier.

Amazingly enough, there had already been some successes. So far, we had two wind-powered pumps – one brought drinking water up from an underground spring, and one brought water in from the pond and through a filtration system so that we had water for showering, cooking, and the like. There was a solar panel on the infirmary. It generated enough power to supply a small air conditioner when it was needed, as well as a couple of pieces of medical equipment that were scavenged from a nearby doctor's office. Glenn had been assigned to the tinkerers when he arrived and was already working on generating power with a stationery bike and some other exercise equipment that had been gathering dust - much like they probably had been doing in the homes of their original owners.

Maggie was sitting up in her bed, looking pale but clearly feeling better than she had been before. Paler still were Glenn and Herschel, who both looked like they had been the ones in false labor. Maggie looked at them affectionately. "Why don't you guys go out and get some fresh air? Marie and Stella can keep me company for a minute." Maggie got a kiss from each as they reluctantly headed outside. She rolled her eyes at us and said, "I'm not sure how Glenn is going to survive when I go into actual labor. I thought he was going to completely lose it."

I giggled. "Well, I can understand that he would be nervous. You scared the shit out of us!"

"Yeah, you need to not ever do that to us again," Marie agreed.

"I just wanted to thank you guys. I really appreciate what you did for me," Maggie said.

"What are friends for, if not to rush you to the infirmary when you go into false labor," I replied.

"You are such a faker, going into FALSE labor," Marie teased.

Maggie laughed. "If that's what false labor feels like, I am NOT looking forward to the real thing."

Glenn and Herschel came back in to send us away so Maggie could rest. Marie and I each got a hug and a heartfelt thank you from both of them for how we had helped Maggie that day. I was feeling exhausted but cheerful as I walked out the door when I saw Daryl standing there, looking like he might actually be waiting for me.

"Hey Gun Show," Marie drawled. "How's hunting?"

"Can't complain, Mouth. Think I killed more walkers than squirrels, though," he replied. He turned his gaze to me and asked, "You got a minute?"

Before I could respond, Marie quickly excused herself. "Going to grab a bite. Catch you later." Once she passed him, she turned around to give me a big, overly dramatic thumbs-up. I just shook my head slightly.

"So what's up?" I asked, trying desperately to seem nonchalant.

"Nothin'. Just missed you the past few days and wanted to see you." And then he gave me that insanely sexy smirk that slayed me every time.

I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle of ecstatic relief. "I…I missed you, too." Missed was the understatement of the year. More like, felt complete and utter dread the entire time he was gone.

"For real?" he asked, actually seeming pleased and surprised. "Are you shitting me?"

"I shit you not. I definitely missed you," I declared.

"Well goddamn, Funny Girl, that's the second good news I got today." And then he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

Aaaand moments later we were back at my place, tearing off each others' clothes. Daryl was dirty as hell but I didn't care. He was covered with scrapes and bruises, and if it was humanly possible, that only made him sexier. But I won't bore you with all the details. Oh wait, who am I kidding? These are definitely not boring details!

I fell back on the bed, and apparently he decided he was going to drive me to the brink of insanity with his mouth and hands. As he kissed me, his hands explored the surface of my skin, outlining my nipples with his rough fingers. Soon I was arching my back and groaning against his salty, smoky mouth, but then his hands moved further south, tickling my belly and then sliding up in between my thighs. Once again, he quickly found the magic spot and brought me right to the edge. And then he moved on to other territory. He did this maddening little routine repeatedly until I had about lost my ever-loving mind. I finally grabbed his hand, looked him dead in the eye, and told him, "You're killing me, Smalls. You need to finish what you started." Which he oh-so efficiently did.

Then it was my turn to return the favor. I straddled him and decided to do a little research. Sucking on his earlobe resulted in some nice groans. Working my way down, I discovered that my tongue flicking and swirling around his nipples yielded some pretty good results, but when I ran my teeth over them, I was rewarded with him twitching with pleasure and muttering, "GodDAMN." Moving down the line, I was able to get him more and more turned on the further I went. He about lost it when I slid my tongue along the hollow below his hip bone. Finally, I verrrrry slowly reached my final destination. If you've never gone down on an extraordinarily sexy redneck badass, you need to add it to your bucket list. There is something truly miraculous about watching a smoking hot ruffian writhe and moan in ecstasy because of what you are doing to him.

We were lying sprawled across the bed afterwards, and he murmured, "Don't think I forgot 'bout you avoiding my question last time we were together."

_And we had been having such a good time_. I sighed. "You know, normal people usually have conversations BEFORE they have sex."

"Normal? Ain't nobody claiming to be normal here," he laughed.

"Anyway, it's my turn to ask you some questions. Let me see, I had some written down somewhere." I pretended to look for something on my nightstand and grabbed a scrap of paper. "Oh, yes, here it is." I grabbed my glasses and put them on the end of my nose. "So my first question for you is-"

He was staring at me with an incredulous/amused look on his face. "Nope, nobody normal here, that's for damn sure," he muttered.

"My first question is, what the hell? You take off for a solo hunting trip the day after we hook up? That's very suspicious timing."

Daryl lay back and stared at the ceiling. "I was tryin' to clear my head. Had a lot of crazy thoughts running 'round in there. I had a chat with a friend while I was in the woods, and he told me to quit being such a chicken-shit and go back home to you."

"Yep, there's definitely nobody normal here," I teased him, grinning. _Thank you, Daryl's imaginary friend. _"But your friend definitely gave you some good advice." I pretended to look at my paper again. "Question number two, what did YOU do before the world went to shit?" I squinted, looking him up and down. "I'm guessing something along the lines of lifter of heavy things or…male stripper." That made him crack up. _Mission accomplished!_

"I worked in construction, building houses around Atlanta. Definitely wasn't no college boy. Shit, I barely made it out of high school. Spent time with my brother, drinking and getting into fights mostly. Wasn't for the fucking plague, you'd have never given me the time of day." He rolled over on his side and started tracing little circles on my butt with his calloused fingertips. I shivered contentedly.

"Ha. You wouldn't have given me a second look if our paths crossed in our old life."

"I definitely would have been looking at this ass as you walked away from me." He planted a kiss on my backside. "Any more questions, officer?"

His kiss completely distracted me, and I rolled over and kissed him on his lips. I stretched out luxuriously, and shook my head. Daryl sat up for a second to look for his cigarettes, and I saw the map of scars that ran in all directions across his back. _Jesus…_ I reached out my hand to touch them, and he stiffened for a second. Softly, I asked, "What happened?"

He paused for a second and lit his cigarette. He took a long drag and then said simply, "My dad was a real asshole. He would get shitfaced drunk and for fun used me as a punching bag." He took another drag, then turned around and looked at me. "See, it's not that hard to do."

"What?"

"Talk about real shit. Everybody now's got a story. Ain't no shame in it. And hiding from it ain't gonna make you forget." Daryl stood up.

He was right, and I knew it, but I just...couldn't. At least not yet. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know 'bout you, but I'm starving. I haven't eaten nothing but squirrels for two days. I'm going to get a shower and head to the kitchen. Wanna come?"

"Oh yeah. Just let me get dressed." I started looking around for my clothes.

"Uh, you might wanna shower, too. Looks like I rubbed off on ya," he said.

I looked down and noticed that I was smudged everywhere with dirt. Also my pillows, sheets, and blankets all looked like a couple of pigs had slept in them. I sighed. "Hmmm, so how do you feel about doing laundry?"


	7. Chapter 7

**...in which stella has a moment of truth and a close call**

**grrr, typo**

The couple of weeks rolled along in a lovely routine. It was my busiest time of year, so I had a ton of work to do at the garden - planting, weeding, and trying desperately to keep on top of everything that needed to be done. Trying to make sure that we produced enough food for everyone was a lot more successful than what I thought I'd be doing after graduation. Maggie and Marie had been right about me and Daryl; once it was clear we were both interested in the same thing from whatever our relationship was, we pretty much just fell in step. Some nights, I was rewarded with Daryl waiting to take me for a ride or coming over after he got off his shift on the guard wall. Sometimes we hung out with the rest of the group, and sometimes we hung out together, naked of course. One thing I had to say for the lack of actual birth control available at the time was that it definitely made us more…creative.

There was still one sticking point, though. I was telling Marie about it as we walked to work one morning. "He says he's not going to tell me any more about HIS past until I can talk about MINE."

"You still haven't told him what happened with Ty?" Marie asked. Actually being serious for once in her life, she said, "You know you should tell him. I don't understand why you feel so guilty about it. You absolutely, 100%, no question about it did the right thing." She closed her eyes for a second and shivered slightly. "I would have done it for you if I could have."

I smiled at her and gave her a hug. "I know you would have. But what's done is done. I hate thinking about it, and there's no point in dwelling on the past."

She looked at me critically. "There's a difference between moving on and shoving something down the memory hole. Honey, you know I love you, but you can't just deal with everything bad by making a joke or ignoring it."

"I know, I know." I sighed. "I just spent so many years being sad. I'm tired of it."

"Yeah, me too."

We had arrived at work, so we tabled the discussion. The day passed by in a blur, and when I arrived home I found Daryl, who had thoughtfully grabbed some dinner for us from the kitchen and brought it back with him. We opened the door to enjoy the beautiful evening air and talked idly about nothing in particular. It was heaven.

After dinner, he presented me with a joint that he had stashed in his pocket. I grinned at him. "Just so you know, if you get me high, you had better be prepared for me to jump your bones later."

"Why'd you think I brought it?" he shot back.

We passed the joint back and forth between us, and my mind decided to take a detour to Weirdville. "What if we used to be able to make wishes, and then someone wished we couldn't?" I wondered aloud.

Daryl laughed. "What the fuck're you talking 'bout?"

"I dunno. Just something that occurred to me." We were quiet again for a second, and then I asked, "Do you think that when you see green, it's the same color green that I see?"

"Shit, if this is where your mind's gonna go, let's try this: you know what I'd keep? Toilet paper," he offered.

I was up for some keep/toss. "OK, what would you toss?"

"Assholes who didn't use their turn signals."

"Those two don't go together."

"Quit your bitchin'," he replied good-naturedly. "It's your turn."

"Um, OK. I miss driving with the windows down and music blasting."

"And?"

"I'd toss garbage. Literally – or do I mean figuratively...? Well, whatever. Like, all the garbage that we used to create. We used to throw SO MUCH shit away. Now everything gets reused or put in the compost pile. It's really a fantastic system. I mean-"

"Jesus, do you run on at the mouth sometimes," Daryl interrupted. I smacked him on the arm, and he responded by pulling me into his lap. He wrapped his arms around me. "I'd keep…baseball and toss, uh, hockey."

I leaned back into him. "For real? You were a baseball fan?"

"Hell yeah. Nothin' beat sitting in the cheap seats at a Braves game with a beer and a hot dog."

Hearing that made me happy. It was completely unexpected but totally fit somehow. I felt the pull of nostalgia that tonight I had no ability to resist. "Me and my dad used to go see the Riverbats; they were the minor league team in Louisville. The games were usually blowouts on one side or the other, but you could sit practically right on the field." I was lost in thought for a minute, my mind getting ahead of my usual restraint when talking about the past. "You know what I really want to know? If any of my family made it through. I talked to my dad and brothers right before shit really fell apart. They were getting ready to come ride it out at our farm. But they never made it. I never heard anything more from them." Daryl looked at me intently but didn't say anything. "Goddammit, I miss them still, eight fucking years later…." I trailed off. "Hey!" I eyed him suspiciously. "So was getting me high your sneaky attempt to trick me into baring my soul?"

He smiled slightly. "Maybe."

I stood up and shut the door. "Enough of this. Come here, because you're gonna make it up to me for being such a devious little shit." I grabbed him by the belt buckle and pulled him to bed.

0000000

The next day, we were woken up by a knock at my door.

"Goddamn, who the fuck is knocking at the ass-crack of dawn?" Daryl swore.

"Well, good morning sunshine." I looked over at the clock. "And it's 10:00."

"Go away!" he yelled at the door. "We don't want any!" He put a pillow over his head.

"Hang on!" I shouted. "I'm coming!" I pulled on the shirt and shorts I'd shed so quickly last night and walked over to the door. Opening it, I saw Violet standing there, looking a little sheepish. "Hey Violet, what's up?"

Seeing Daryl in my bed made her grin at me like a proud sister. She quickly got to the point of her visit, though. "We're putting together a foraging-slash-hunting party to go out tomorrow. I was actually looking for Daryl to see if he could join us." Violet raised her voice at the second part, directing her comment towards him.

"Yeah, I'll be there," he said, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Great! We leave at 7 a.m." Then she told me, "Last time Andy and I were out, we noticed morels starting to pop up. You interested in looking for more? If you can get away from the garden, that is."

"Yeah, that sounds good. I think they could spare me for the day. I would looooove some morels." My mouth actually started to water the tiniest bit at the thought. "And man, it's been ages since I've been out on a search." I didn't mention that I also really liked the idea of not being stuck here while Daryl was out wandering the woods. No matter how expert a hunter/walker-killer he was, it made me nervous, and it was better I was out there with him instead of sitting at home, stressing.

"Awesome! We'll see you in the morning, too." Violet gave me a conspiratorial grin and leaned in to whisper the next bit. "And it's lucky for you I'm married because I totally would have climbed _that_ like a tree."

Laughing, I said good-bye and went back over to the bed where Daryl was still buried. Kissing him on the arm that was hanging out from under the covers, I said, "Come on babe, rise and shine." He didn't say anything, but grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back into bed.

0000000

The next day dawned clear, sunny, and way too early. Daryl and I met the rest of the group by the front gate, outfitted with the necessary gear for our trip into the woods. Everyone went armed, whether we were hunting or not. In our town, even people who never ventured outside the gate were trained in how to use a weapon of some kind. The kids had walker drills at school where they practiced both escape and fighting back. We all got pretty proficient with the baseball bat, iron pipe, hatchet, machete, and any other manner of sharp or heavy object. There were some people handy with a bow and arrow or crossbow - Daryl being one of them - and there were also several shotguns, although those were used sparingly. First of all, the noise generally brought more walkers than they killed, and second, ammunition was pretty hard to come by these days.

As excited as I was to get outside the gate, I was also fairly terrified. We were lulled into a false sense of security being inside the fence. The fact that over time we had seen fewer and fewer walkers also added to that. Once outside, we had to be on our guard at all times. As we went out into what used to be a busy state road that ran in front of the compound, we stayed quiet and alert. The coast was clear, however, which led me to relax ever so slightly.

It was nice to get out of the sun and into the cool, dappled shade of the woods across the road. We split up into two groups once we were there, foragers heading in one direction, hunters in another. While all of us foragers kept our weapons handy, Andy also came with us to serve as our lookout, to keep an eye out for walkers approaching.

Searching for morels was a bit of a trick in the semi-darkness of the woods. The little, brown, shriveled-looking mushrooms popped up on the floor of the woods near rotting logs. I had learned that the best way to spot them was not to really look. I tried to keep my eyes from focusing on any one thing, and just let them sweep over the fallen leaves and underbrush until I saw one.

About a half hour later, we heard a low whistle, which was the signal from the hunters that all was well with them. Andy responded with the same whistle to let them know we were OK, too. The four of us in my group were slightly spread out, but we always stayed within eyesight of at least one of the others. None of us had had any luck spotting any morels, until my eye suddenly lit on one. I crouched down and pushed away the leaves that surrounded it. _Sweet! The mother lode!_ As I reached my hand out to grab them, I heard a grunt that nearly made my heart stop. _Walker!_

In a second, I had my hatchet in my hand and whirled around to see a walker stumbling up the hill behind me. I whistled to signal trouble and at the same time heard a cry of alarm from Liza. There was a pack of zombies coming, cutting me off from the rest of the group. Andy had immediately started whistling the distress signal to the hunters, and we heard them running towards us from what sounded like a ways off. I swung the hatchet and split the head of the nearest walker like a rotten, foul-smelling melon. It went down with a groan, but not before spraying me with its rank innards.

The others of my group were fighting their way through the mass of undead, taking them down one after the other, but it was surreal how more just seemed to keep coming up the hill. _What the fuck? Do they form gangs now?_ I was able to take another one down, but when I swung at the third one coming at me, my hands, wet with sweat and walker guts, lost their grip and my hatchet went flying off into the underbrush. _Shitshitshitshitshitshit!_ I took off running_. Get up off the ground_, I remembered from my zombie escape training, so I began looking desperately for a tree that I would be able to scale but came up empty. _Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! _Spotting an abandoned cabin, I figured that would be better than nothing and ran through the front door. Instantly, the floor gave way beneath me, I let out a scream of shock, and then that's all I remembered.

When I came to, I was back in the infirmary. My head was killing me, but the pain in my shoulder was a close second. As soon I realized where I was, I sat bolt upright, panic-stricken. But there was Daryl, dozing in a chair next to me. "Hey," I croaked.

"Hey, Funny Girl, you're back with us." He looked like complete hell, but once again, it was so good just to see him in one piece. His face displayed a combination of fear and relief that I'd never seen on him before. He grabbed my hand and kissed it, then leaned his head against mine, closing his eyes for a second.

"How long have I been out?" I asked. I raised my hand to my head but winced at the pain from my shoulder. I tried with the other hand and felt a giant knob up above my left eye. "Jesus, what happened?" Then panic again. "Oh my God, did everyone else make it back OK? Violet, Andy-"

Daryl kissed me gingerly on the forehead. "No worries, darlin'. They're all fine. Don't get yourself all worked up. You got the worst of it." He brushed some hair out of my eyes. "Goddammit, I'm glad to see you awake."

I smiled and found myself embarrassingly close to tears. Ducking my head, I asked again, "So how long have I been out?"

"About twelve hours," Daryl said. "Looks like when you fell through the floor, you smacked your head and got knocked out." He ran his hand through his hair and muttered, "Thank God there weren't no fucking walkers down there. I'da-"

It was my turn to calm him down. I kissed him on the lips to shut him up. "But there weren't, and I'm back home with just some bumps and bruises."

At that point, Marie showed up with a bouquet of wildflowers. "Hey Sleeping Beauty, glad you're finally awake!" To Daryl: "'Sup, Gun Show?"

Daryl got up. "Nothin' much, Mouth. I'm gonna go get your friend here something to eat. You keep an eye on her, a'right?" He swooped in and kissed me again, this time on the mouth. He held my gaze for a second and then strode out.

"Well, shiiiiit," Marie said when he was gone. "You have got yourself one knight in shining armor. Or leather. Whatever. He has not left your side since he came tearing in here like a bat out of hell with you in his arms."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember that movie, _True Grit_? The one with Jeff Bridges and that little girl in it?"

"Ummm, yeah, I think." My memory was a little fuzzy at this point, and I also had no idea where the hell she was going with that question.

"OK, so according to Violet, they came running as soon as they heard Andy's distress whistle. Daryl, of course, was a complete badass, taking down walkers left and right, like a BOSS. Seriously, she said she'd never seen anything like it. She said it was-"

"Come on," I interrupted. "Back to what happened."

"Oh yeah, sorry. Anyway, she said as soon as he heard you scream – which was when you fell through the floor, I guess - he took off into the house to find you. A couple minutes later, he's back out, you in his arms out cold, running like a fucking maniac until he got back here." She stopped, looking a little pleased with herself. "You know, like Jeff Bridges did when that kid got bit by the snake."

I was totally overwhelmed at hearing what had happened. I was elated and ecstatic and suddenly burst into tears. Through my tears, I managed, "I still have no idea what the fuck you're talking about with Jeff Bridges and the snake."

"Never mind." Marie gave me a hug. "God, I'm so glad you're back. Where the hell would I be without you?"

"Probably in prison."

"Damn straight," she laughed.

Daryl came back with food and stopped cold when he saw me crying. I'm sure it shocked the hell out of him. He recovered quickly and said, "I leave you alone with her for ten minutes, and you got her cryin'! Goddamn."

"All right, all right, I'm leaving." Marie got up.

"Hey Marie, can you bring me my guitar?"

She smiled. "Sure thing."

As she was leaving, Herschel came in. "So nobody thinks it's important to tell me that my patient is awake?" He came over to the bed and beamed down at me. "My dear, you gave us all a scare. Especially this one." He nodded his head at Daryl. "I don't think he moved from that spot the entire time you were out."

Daryl grabbed my hand again and squeezed it hard. I started crying, AGAIN. "I-don't-know-what's-wrong-with-me," I choked out. "It's-just-"

This time it was Daryl's turn to shut me up with a kiss.

**one more chapter on deck, and one more to write!**


	8. Chapter 8

**...in which stella gets REAL. :D**

I was stuck in the infirmary for a day before Herschel decided I was well enough to go home, with the stipulation that I took it easy. That was pretty easy at first because Daryl was my shadow. He wouldn't let me do anything for myself; he brought food, kept me entertained, and pretty much treated me like I was made of glass. Other visitors, like Maggie and Marie stopped by too, but Daryl kicked them out soon after they arrived because he thought I looked tired. While it was really super-sweet, he was also driving me completely batshit insane. By day three of my confinement, I had had it, and told Daryl in the most loving way possible to go the hell back to work before I ended up strangling him with my bare hands.

When I finally had some time alone, I continued working on the song that had been forming in my head for about the past week, since Daryl had gotten me to spill my guts about my family. It had been years since I'd written anything new, but all of the sudden, it was like the floodgates had opened, and I couldn't keep my hands off my guitar.

I was able to go back to work at last, but I was dreading the disaster I was convinced I'd find there. My one day outside the gate had snowballed into almost a week, and I knew there would be a shitload of stuff that needed to be done. However, I was pleasantly shocked to find Marie, of all people, up to her elbows in dirt when I arrived for my first day back. She and Maggie had really stepped up in my absence and kept things going. I wasn't so shocked that Maggie was a hard worker, but I really couldn't believe that Marie had totally thrown herself into work for the first time in seven years.

By Saturday, I was ready to socialize. I suggested to Marie and the rest of the band that we play for everyone again. I didn't mention that I had a new song I wanted to unveil because I couldn't handle the scrutiny from them just yet. I was slightly terrified of playing it for everyone, since I would be doing it solo, and I wanted to preserve the option of chickening out at the last minute.

That night, Barney's bar was crowded with people. We hadn't made a big deal out of playing, but the promise of music really brought people out. Once again, we kept it casual, just playing through our usual songs and taking requests from the audience. I took me three drinks to build up the nerve to play my song. (Don't judge me.) Daryl was sitting nearby, so I announced so he could hear, "This one is for Daryl, because he thinks I can't be serious."

He gave me a curious look and his usual smirk. I guess it was pretty ridiculous of me to assume that this whole production would fly under the radar of the rest of the crowd, but within seconds they were all quiet and watching me raptly. Feeling slightly nauseous, I played the opening chords, closed my eyes, and started to sing:

_Hang on, hang on  
'Cause it's the little things  
Yes, it's the little things that do us harm  
I'm not a stranger  
Ain't a mystery when we both get it wrong  
Stay here for a little while more  
'Cause it's a funny thing  
Yes, it's a funny thing  
I need a friend, not an angel  
What do you do when the drowning stops?  
And what you thought was a hurricane was just the rustling of the wind  
Why you think we need amazing grace just to tell it like it is?  
Well, I don't need no doctor to tear me all apart  
I just need you to mend my heart  
Hang on, I'll try to look you in the eye  
You know I could apologize  
Should I apologize? Is there an answer?  
What do you do when the drowning stops?  
Oh, what you thought was a hurricane was just the rustling of the wind  
Why you think we need amazing grace just to tell it like it is?  
Oh, I don't need no doctor to tear me all apart  
I just need you to mend my heart  
I need you to mend my heart_

There was complete silence for a second when I finished and then the applause was deafening. I opened my eyes and looked immediately at Daryl, who had an unreadable expression on his face. It terrified me for a second, but then he got up, grabbed me up in his arms and kissed me, in front of the entire town. Seriously, people actually STOOD UP and cheered. I guess they must have felt like they did back in the days of TV when their favorite couple FINALLY got together.

Daryl went back to his seat, and I realized I was shaking like a leaf, but I was so unnerved by all the attention that I wanted to keep things moving. "OK, how about 'General Specific'?" The rest of the band were all standing there with their mouths hanging open in amazement, but they started playing and people mercifully got back to their conversations.

Later, Daryl and I were lying in the grass, looking up at the stars. The moon was full, and so everything was eerily illuminated. Daryl had me pulled close, my head on his shoulder, his hand in my hair. Suddenly, I had an idea. I got up and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet. "Come on, I have a surprise for you."

"'Nother one?" he asked, but came along with me.

We went to the garden and down into the root cellar. I lit the lantern that sat inside the door and revealed a table covered with trays of perfectly red, perfectly ripe strawberries. "This is the first harvest," I explained. "But I think there's enough to share."

We started out sampling just a couple but quickly lost all restraint. I don't know if you've ever had a strawberry fresh from a garden, but there is nothing in this world like it. It's like summertime exploding in your mouth when you bite into one. It's like crack, if crack was a fruit. Watching Daryl eat them was kind of miraculous. There was this crazy juxtaposition of the sheer delight he was taking in the strawberries versus his hardass exterior. I was pummeled with a storm of different emotions and suddenly blurted out, "I love you, you know."

He looked up in surprise and then without a word took three steps to cover the distance between the two of us. My face was in his hands, and he was kissing me with such emotion, I almost cried. He stopped for a second and looked deep deep deep into my eyes, and replied, "I love you, too, you know."

Then we were kissing again. I quickly pulled off his shirt and pulled off mine, too, and pressed my chest up against his. He slipped my bra off and cupped my breasts with his hands, flicking his tongue across my nipples. I leaned back into the wall and gasped with pleasure. Soon we were both naked, in a mad frenzy of passion. He had his hand between my thighs and between groans, I panted, "I want…you…inside me."

Daryl stopped and looked at me curiously. "I don't have a condom or nothin'."

I did some calculations in my head. "The timing is fine. It will be fine." It wasn't just want, I NEEDED him inside me. I grabbed him by the hips and pressed him up against me.

"You sure?"

"YES!" And then he was inside me, and it was like he had reached that itch that I had been trying unsuccessfully to scratch. _Ohhhmyyyyygooooooddddd_. I was clawing the wall in front of me and cried out in rapture in rhythm with movements.

His moans accelerated, and he panted, "I'll pull out right before – _uuuunnnnhhhhhhhhhh_." I matched his groan with a scream of my own, and we collapsed into a sweaty heap on the floor.

0000000

Even later that night, we were in bed back at my place. I was wide awake still, but Daryl lay quietly next to me. I wasn't sure if he was sleeping or not, but I just started talking anyway.

"After the outbreak, Ty and I holed up at our farm, hoping to stay clear of the virus. Marie showed up about two weeks later to ride it out with us. She actually had driven cross-country from Seattle and had stories of what she saw that we didn't – COULDN'T – believe. I mean, how the hell could you? Who the fuck would ever have believed that the dead would come back to life?" Daryl didn't say a word, but pulled me close to him. "Ty and I had been glued to the news, but were still convinced that it was all just some kind of hoax. That it was an optical illusion or something. Or some kind of crazy, fucking sick-ass joke. When the power went out, we just kept hoping that it would all blow over, and things would get back to normal.

"In another week, we saw our first one. The first walker. Ty spotted it first, staggering across a field at the end of our property. He didn't realize what it was and shouted and waved to it. I guess he thought it was a person who needed help. Marie knew immediately it was a walker and completely lost her shit. She got one of our guns and gave it to Ty, and she was just screaming over and over, 'Shoot it shoot it shoot it shoot it!' But he wouldn't because he didn't understand. The whole time they were arguing, I couldn't take my eyes of it as it got closer and closer. Finally, Ty shot it. The expression on his face when he had to kill that walker…I'll never forget it. It was awful. He shot it in the leg first, I think 'cause he still wasn't convinced. But it just came right on coming like nothing. He unloaded the pistol into its head, and it finally went down. Then he went and threw up. I just stared at it, lying there in our front yard. Because I mean, how the fuck do you wrap your head around that?" In response, Daryl kissed me softly on the back of my neck. He still didn't say anything, but there really was nothing to be said.

"It got easier after that. Although it's not like it ever was easy. Marie didn't know how to shoot a gun, so Ty and I kept watch and killed the walkers that approached. At first it was just a couple, and then there were more and more. We were running out of food and ammo, and we started to get that we couldn't stay. So we started packing the car. We weren't sure where to go, but figured Indianapolis would be a good place to start. That was just a shot in the dark, though. We had no fucking clue what to do next. Then there was the day we ran." I broke off for a second. I wasn't sure I could keep going.

Daryl murmured, "You can do this."

I sighed and continued, my voice a monotone. "We woke up, and it was like a fucking flood of walkers had come from the woods. They were everywhere. Everywhere. We knew we had to get the hell out. Ty was going to distract them while Marie and I got to the car. Then we'd pick him up and go. Ty had one gun and gave me the other. He ran out the back door and made a bunch of noise to get their attention. Marie and I ran out the front door to get the car. We started the car and then he started screaming. Screaming and screaming and screaming." God, the screams echoed in my head even now. I shuddered and tears started streaming down my face. "It was the most horrible horrible thing I have ever heard." I stopped again. "We pulled around the house and saw him. They were eating him…alive." I let out a choked sob and Daryl held me even more tightly. "He stopped screaming somehow and told me he…he loved me. And then he begged me to shoot him. And I did." I couldn't say anymore. I sobbed and sobbed like it was happening again. Daryl didn't say a word because really, what could you say? Everything will be all right? I'm sorry you had to kill your husband? Words aren't good enough. He just continued to hold me, and I could feel his tears dripping down my neck.

Later still, Daryl told me his stories, so it was my turn to silently listen. He told me about this bastard they fought called the Governor, and how the Governor ended up killing his brother, Merle, when Merle ambushed him and his men. Daryl found Merle when he had turned and put him down. Daryl lay on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling as he talked. I curled up next to him and wrapped my arms around him. Then he told me about Rick.

"Rick was a brother to me, prob'ly more than Merle ever was. Workin' with him was the first time I ever felt like I was better'n worthless white trash. He RESPECTED me, which blew my mind." He paused. "We were out on a water run when he got bit. So fucking routine it was stupid." Angrily, he rolled over and silently fumed for a minute. When he started talking, he spit the words out harshly. "Not a walker in sight, and we're just shootin' the shit, hiking up to the spring. La-di-fucking-dah, just having a fucking good ol' time. Next thing I know, walkers were on us. We killed two, third bit Rick on the neck. Smashed that poxy motherfucker's head to a pulp and dragged Rick back to the prison as fast as I could go." He stopped again, and when he picked up his story, he talked more quickly, like he just wanted to get it over with. "Got him back to our group. Knew he was a goner. He said good-bye to Carl and Judith and died. Then I shot him in the head." He was staring dully into space, and I knew he was lost in the past as much as I was when I told about Ty. He suddenly sat up, trembling with fury. "FUCK! It was so FUCKING STUPID!" He found a cigarette and lit it up, taking deep drags until he relaxed again.

I just sat there, numbly. "Jesus," I finally said, "we all carry around such fucking baggage now." I immediately regretted how callous I sounded, but Daryl just laughed dryly.

"You ain't kidding, Funny Girl." He sat back down next to me. "Big ol' iron suitcases full'a lead." He put out his cigarette and lay back down, pulling me back with him. "Shackled to our ankles for us to drag around for eternity."

I had my face buried in his neck, so my voice was muffled when I said, "I love you, you know."

"Love you, too, Funny Girl."

**the song is "Hang On" by dr. dog. fretting over the last chapter...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Just wanted to let y'all know that I've posted a couple of chapters now in the sequel, cleverly called "Post-Apocalyptic TRAVEL Survival Guide." :D**

**...in which stella and daryl begin a new adventure.**

And we all lived happily ever after, right? You know, she was healed by the love of a good man, he was healed by the love of a good woman, and everyone holds hands and sings 'Kumbaya'? Well, not exactly. Because, you see, that summer was HOT. Absurdly hot, hell on the surface of the sun hot. And remember, we didn't have air conditioning and were living in what was essentially a garage. (Oh yeah, Daryl did move in with me. Seemed like a waste to have two places when he was always at mine.) That was enough to wreak havoc with even the most patient, most serene people, and Daryl and I were neither of those.

So that you are really clear on what I'm talking about when I say a scorching summer, imagine that you are living in Florida in August, only there are no cool ocean breezes and about 100% humidity. Picture Disneyland on a day when it's wall to wall people, sun beating down, asphalt so hot your feet stick to it. No nice cool shops and restaurants to seek refuge in. No fucking frozen lemonade. Maddeningly miserable, right? That was life in our town in July.

We'd been through summers like this before, although in everyone's mind this was the absolute worst ever, never mind what Michelle, our records keeper, said to the contrary. Over the years, we had developed different strategies for easing the misery a bit. The first was that we all adjusted our schedules so that we avoided working during the hottest part of the days. It was like an unofficial siesta, even though no one was really able to sleep during those brutal early afternoon hours. We also got used to seeing a lot more of each other's bodies. People walked around in as few clothes as they felt comfortable in (and there were a few who were comfortable au naturale, but they were of course the ones you'd wished felt a little less at ease with their bodies). People started sleeping out in the fields where there was more hope to catch a breeze, if you could put up with the mosquitoes and ticks.

However, despite all of our efforts, we were completely miserable. It was just stupid-hot, and there was not a whole hell of a lot we could do about it. We had to get used to being coated with a layer of sweat and grime at all times. The worst thing by far was that we were all pretty much insomniacs now. You try sleeping when it's 80 degrees, and the stagnant air feels like it weighs about a thousand pounds. Naturally, lack of sleep leads to very short tempers, aaand that's where we'll pick up.

Oh wait, another interesting little development: I absolutely could not quit thinking about my family. Ever since I'd made that stoned confession to Daryl, it was the troll in the back of my mind, popping up to annoy me when I was trying to think of other things. In the middle of my sleepless nights, I would start thinking, _Hey, what if they made it through? What if they are alive in well somewhere, just like you are? What if they are starving and need help?_ _You really would do something about that if you care about them at all._ Obnoxious, right? So add that to my current state of being sleep-deprived, overworked and heat-stroked, and hopefully you'll be more sympathetic when you see what a bitch I'd become.

I had come home midday, when it became too punishing and dangerous to work out in the garden. The day was cloudy and more humid than ever, as unbelievable as that was. I was hoping the clouds held the promise of rain, but I'd had those hopes dashed numerous times in the last month. I had been planning to stay in the root cellar because it was a lot cooler down there, being that it was underground. Unfortunately, too many people had the same idea, and not only was there no room for me, all the warm bodies down there made it so it didn't really feel all that much better anyway. So, dirty, sweaty, and grouchy, I headed for home.

Daryl was there when I arrived, sitting in nothing but boxers. He had his eyes closed and a wet rag on his head. "Hey," he said, barely opening an eye to watch me come in.

"Hey." I immediately stripped to my underwear when I walked through the open garage door, and lay down on the concrete floor, hoping that it would be even the slightest bit cool. Not so much, but any little bit helped.

Two months ago - and probably (_hopefully_) even two months from now - the sight of each other in our skivvies would have led to some wicked crazy sex, but at this point it did not even register on the radar. I managed to drift off to sleep when he asked, "You wanna go for a ride? Breeze might feel good."

_Jesus Christ, I was just about to fucking fall asleep!_ I felt the irrational need to scream at him, but with superhuman strength I was able to curb that desire, and managed to say in a very strained tone, "No, I'd rather sleep."

My bad attitude sparked his, which was probably already simmering below the surface. "Well fucking forgive ME for wantin' to spend time with my girlfriend." Daryl sat up and threw the rag on the floor. "Goddamn thing isn't even cold." He lit up a cigarette.

"Seriously? You're smoking? It's blazing-ass hot and you're smoking a fucking cigarette! Where the fuck do you even FIND-"

"Jesus woman, lay off me, a'right? It's just one fucking thing after another with you." He got up and threw a pair of jeans on and started to gather up some of his shit.

This annoyed the hell out of me, too, because that was his go-to response when we fought. He'd disappear for hours and then show up later with no explanation of any kind. But I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths to calm my raging temper. "Serenity now, serenity now," I whispered.

"Oh, would ya stop that shit? It's not fuckin' funny," he snapped.

"Go to hell," I shot back, and then looked up at him. His back was to me, but I could see his muscles coiled like a snake ready to strike. Without another word, he grabbed his crossbow and stormed outside. I knew he was headed to the woods, which I hated, and I knew he was furious with me, which I hated too. But I was SO PISSED OFF, I couldn't bring myself to say anything to stop him, so I just watched him stalk off towards the gate. Left alone there on the floor, I burst into tears. I let myself cry for a few minutes because it felt unreasonably good, then pulled myself together and went to find Marie.

0000000

Marie was sitting alone under some trees at the edge of the field, looking about as evil as I felt. "I'm going to kill him," Marie declared as I approached. "There is no reasonable justification for it, but I want him dead, and I want it to be at my hands."

"I am so glad to hear it's not just me and Daryl," I sighed as I flopped down on the ground. "It's like every little thing he does sets me off, and he's a fucking powder keg, so it doesn't take much.

"It's this goddamn satanic heat. No one can behave like a rational human being in this." She grabbed the front of her shirt and tried to fan herself.

"I think I've had maybe eight hours of sleep total in the last fucking week," I told her miserably. "And we've been fighting like cats and dogs for about a month. I don't even know how to stop it. We fight, Daryl disappears into the woods, I am a wreck while he's gone, and that just adds to my hair-trigger temper which causes more arguments."

"I predict several homicides before this weather breaks." Marie swiped futilely at the sweat that was dripping into her eyes. "I sincerely hope I'm not the perpetrator of one of them."

"It's not just the heat, though. All those nights I'm awake, I have a loop running in my head that consists of, _You better go looking for Dad and your brothers. You're their only hope._ Like I'm goddamn Princess Leia or something. And really, what the hell can I do? I can't just go off on a crusade to find them."

Marie sat silently for a second, then said, "You need to tell him what's on your mind. Take it from an old married woman, it's better they know what's going on in your head, or they will jump to all the wrong conclusions on their own."

I laughed. "God Marie, when did you start giving actual smart advice?"

"Don't start shit with me, woman. You don't want to be added to my list," she said, chuckling.

"Hey! Marie! Stella! Hey!" We both looked up to see Beth running across the field towards us. She was scarlet red and looked about to pass out when she reached us.

"Damn it, Beth! You shouldn't be running around in this heat!" Marie scolded her.

"It's Maggie! She's having her baby!" Beth looked nervous but excited, too.

We went back to the infirmary with her, hanging onto her to keep her from breaking into a run again. Once again, the same crowd was assembled as the last time Maggie was there, but now the overall atmosphere was decidedly much more cheerful. Daryl either had not left or had returned early, because he was standing there with the others, still shirtless, his crossbow at his feet.

"Goddamn, girl," Marie said to me. "You sure you wouldn't rather fuck him than kill him?"

"Maybe fuck him, THEN kill him." Daryl watched me as I approached but didn't offer any kind of greeting. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I didn't want an audience for however it would go down, so I just sat down without saying anything to him.

Thankfully, Maggie's delivery went quickly and smoothly. Glenn stuck his head out the infirmary door to let us know that it was a boy, and we all cheered. "Glad to see you made it through, too!" Carl ribbed him. A short time later, Herschel came to the door and announced proudly, "You can come in a couple at a time to see my handsome grandson!" We looked around at each other to try to determine who would get to go first, and Herschel relented, "Aw hell, all of you come on in."

All ten of us piled in. Maggie looked radiant, if exhausted. Glenn was also beaming and somehow looked more done in than Maggie. "We'd like to name him Rick, if that's OK with you guys," Maggie declared, looking at Carl and Judith.

Carl's face was clouded with emotion. "Yes, absolutely," he said, as Judith tugged at his sleeve and crowed, "That's Daddy's name!" He started to say more, but broke off as he tried to fight back tears. Beth hugged him tightly and smiled at Maggie.

I shot a look at Daryl, who once again had that unreadable expression that had lately so infuriated me. I took a step in his direction, but he was moving towards Maggie. "OK if I hold him?"

Without hesitation, she handed the baby to Daryl, who took him with an expertise and ease that I never could have anticipated. Cradling the little guy in his arms, Daryl beamed down at him. "Hope you look more like your mama than your daddy," he muttered, grinning.

We all laughed at that. Herschel asked, "So what are _you_ going to call him?"

"I dunno. Can't think of any name that would fit this little guy better 'n Rick."

0000000

That evening, I took Marie's advice and came clean. It was challenging from the start because I had to find Daryl first. He didn't come to dinner, so I sat among our friends who were talking excitedly about Maggie and Glenn and the baby. I really was happy for them, but it was hard to focus on the conversation because I was so preoccupied with my own thoughts. I picked idly at my food.

Suddenly, we heard a rumble of thunder. Immediately, everyone in the kitchen stopped in mid-conversation and looked hopefully at the sky. Another rumble, and the conversations started back up even more animatedly than before, now that we were all thinking that _maybe, possibly_ it might rain. A few minutes later, there was another rumble that I thought was more thunder but quickly realized was Daryl's motorcycle.

_Goddammit, he is NOT leaving without me this time._ Without a word to the others, I took off running back to our place. It was just a short run, but with the heat and all, I felt like I was going to die by the time I caught him. Red-faced and gasping, I panted, "Can I…Can…I…come with…you?"

Something about the sight of me disheveled and asthmatic caused a nearly imperceptible smile to creep across his face. I wasn't sure if it was a good sign that my near-asphyxiation was amusing to him, but I decided that a smile for any reason was better than a scowl, so I'd take it. "Sure," he muttered.

I hopped on the bike and slipped my arms around his waist. I felt awkward at first, and I could feel him tense up. Then I realized how much I'd missed being close to him and pressed my chest against his back because what the hell was he going to do, dump me off? I immediately felt him relax and oh, life was suddenly so good again. We headed out the gate and onto the road. The air was heavy with the possibility of rain, but he was right about the breeze from riding helping. The roads were empty of walkers, but I did notice squirrels, rabbits, and birds going about their business as if life had not changed at all for them. I started to think, _maybe going to look for my family isn't such a crazy idea. Maybe I could do it with Daryl…._

After all too brief a joyride, Daryl pulled up in front of an abandoned farmhouse sitting in a wide open field of tall grass and wildflowers. As we walked up onto the porch, Daryl nodded to the shovel that was leaning up against the porch railing. "Keep that handy. I'm gonna make sure we don't get any surprises." He silently went inside to sweep for walkers. In a minute, I heard the distinctive wet thunk of an arrow hitting its mark, and then he was back, wiping the arrow on a shred of old curtain.

We sat on the porch steps, keeping our weapons handy just in case, and watched the lightning show in the clouds approaching from the west. Both of us were silent, sitting inches apart but not actually touching. _Come on, just open your fucking mouth and apologize for being such a horrendous bitch. Two words – I'm sorry. How hard is that?_ I finally opened my mouth to say something, but the minute I did that, Daryl started talking.

"Look, I'm real sorry for bein' such an asshole lately."

"Shit, you haven't been half the asshole I've been. I was just getting ready to apologize for being a phenomenal raging bitch."

He shot me a sidelong glance and that killer smirk that I'd missed for so many weeks. "Well, we're just two peas in a fuckin' pod now, aren't we?" He picked at the paint peeling off the porch steps. "I've just been so antsy lately. I guess it's the goddamn heat or somethin', but…"

"Jesus, it's been un-fucking-believable."

"It's like I'm itchin' for something to happen. Maybe I'm not used to being able to relax or somethin'. Just can't hold still." A blinding bolt of lightning in the distance drew our attention for a second. I could feel my scalp prickle with the electricity in the air. "Wandering 'round in the woods is the only thing that makes me feel right."

I was silent for a minute, processing this new information. I'd assumed I was driving him away. The fact that it was him wanting to leave made me feel both better and worse. He must have sensed my unease because he wrapped his arm around me and kissed me on the forehead. "Not gonna go anywhere 'thout you, though."

I heaved a massive sigh of relief. "So I guess it's only fair you know the shit that's been going on in my head. You remember how I told you about wondering where my family was?" He nodded. "Well, you totally opened a can of worms with that one. I can't stop thinking about it now. I mean, what if they are really still alive? What if it's possible to find them and bring them back?" Voicing my biggest fear, I said more quietly, "What if they need help, and I could do something about it?"

Daryl turned so he was looking me in the eyes. "Wouldn't be easy. There's a lotta evil people out here, alive or dead."

I looked down. "I know. It's nuts. I guess I was just thinking how it really wasn't that far, back before things went to shit. Weird how what was a two hours' drive is now a fool's mission." I chewed on my lower lip, sighing again. "I just need to get it out of my head."

All of the sudden, it began to rain. Just a light, misty drizzle at first. I stuck my hand out in disbelief to see if it was actually real. "Holy shit-" I started, and then the clouds opened up in a downpour. I shrieked with delight and ran out to stand in it. It was unbelievable, after all those hot, dry, unbearable weeks to feel cold, cold rain washing the dirt and sweat off my skin. I danced around, giggling with delight. Then I realized Daryl was still sitting on the porch watching me with a grin on his face. _Oh man, how I've missed that sight!_ I ran over to him and grabbed his hand. "What are you waiting for? Come on!" I drug him out into the yard with me, and we both stood there for a second, letting the rain drench us. He put his arms around me and kissed me for a long, slow, delicious minute.

I pulled away and looked up at him. "Shit, I almost forgot what that felt like." Then I kissed him again, and it quickly became urgent that we get out of our clothes and into each other as soon as humanly possible. Back up on the porch, we made up for a month of celibacy in an instant. There was no time for foreplay; he was inside me in minutes. We were both moaning and screaming and reveling in the lack of neighbors who could be disturbed. _Jesus Christ, how did we ever not do this?_

Afterwards, as I was lying in his arms, he asked, "So what were we fightin' about?"

I giggled. "I have no fucking clue." I closed my eyes and listened to the rain drum on the roof above us. Suddenly, I felt his muscles tense and looked up to see a walker that had staggered up to the porch.

In a flash, he had the shovel in hand. "What the fuck you looking at, perv?" he demanded of the walker and smashed what was left of its skull in.

Despite my terror mere seconds ago, I laughed. "Seriously, are you sure you're for real? Like, you weren't created by some writer as the ultimate redneck zombie-killing badass?"

He snorted. "Would ya love me less if I was? C'mon, I think all your screamin' got us some unwelcome attention."

0000000

Things definitely improved after that. The weather was still shit, but during our sleepless nights, Daryl and I actually talked or - even better - had sex, instead of fighting or sulking. We spent a lot of time with Lil Rick, as Daryl was now calling him. It was absolutely the sweetest thing ever to see him with a baby. Somehow, he looked even hotter holding an infant. (Honestly, it was amazing that the man didn't just burst into flames.) During one of our late night conversations, we talked about kids. I asked him if he'd ever thought about it.

"Nah, not really. Before, I don't think it woulda crossed my mind. Then, who the hell woulda wanted a kid after the walkers showed up? I love Lil Ass Kicker, but man it ain't easy to take care of a kid when you're fighting to stay alive. Now? I think I'm just gettin' too old." He rolled over to face me. "How 'bout you?"

"Aww, you're not that old. 40 is the new 30, you know?" Daryl chuckled at that, and I continued, "I think I was just too young before. I was still in school, so I figured I had a million years to think about having a baby. And until now, I wouldn't have even had the opportunity to create a kid, even if I wanted one," I laughed. "I love kids, but I'm not sure this is the best world to bring one into."

As the weeks went on, as much as I tried not to think about it, I was still preoccupied with the possibility, remote and stupid though it was, of finding my family. I had found an old atlas and pored over all the potential routes they could have taken if they actually had left to get to me. I tried to anticipate where they could possibly have ended up between Lexington and my farm. I ran scenarios over and over in my head where I tried to eliminate the myriad of variables that were sure to present themselves if we were insane enough to embark on this mission. I kept coming to the same conclusions: it would be a miracle if we actually located them, but regardless, I would not be able to quit thinking about it unless we tried.

I got the feeling Daryl might have been thinking about it, too. He didn't really bring it up, except to ask where my dad and brothers would have been coming from and where they were headed. That was all he asked, but it left me feeling that he might have been considering the possibilities. Then one morning he ended my speculation.

"Y'know, Funny Girl, I think it's worth a shot," he said out of nowhere.

I had just woken up and was still groggy. "What is?"

"Lookin' for your family. It's not that far. Prob'ly could make it in a day, maybe less if the roads aren't too bad."

My heart started pounding, and I was suddenly wide awake. "Are you sure? How would we get there? Would we use one of your guys' cars? What if it broke down? I don't think we'd make it on foot." The thought of us traipsing through the woods surrounded by walkers terrified me. "I mean, I'm sure your brother would be looking out for us or whatever, but I don't know that I could count on that."

He smiled wryly. "Such an unbeliever. Doncha think I'd keep you safe?"

"I have no doubt that you'd do your damnedest to." I stared hard at him. "Are you fucking with me? Because that would just be mean."

"Nope. I don't think you'll be able to let it rest unless you try. And I get it. I never stopped lookin' for my brother when we were in Atlanta."

He was right – I wouldn't stop thinking about it, but shit, was it worth risking my life and his to satisfy my curiosity? I said as much to Daryl.

"It's way more than curiosity. They're your kin. You wanna know you did right by them."

My stomach was in knots. He was right again, but there was no way I could make that decision yet.

However, a couple more weeks of obsession was enough to prompt me to make a choice. As much as I hated keeping it from her, I couldn't ask Marie for her advice because this was not something she'd be objective about. She would hate the idea, and I was trying to postpone incurring her wrath until the last possible moment. Of course, she knew something was bothering me, so instead I had to endure a couple of weeks of her hounding me about what the hell my problem was.

After another long, long night of discussion of the pros, cons, and potential for death and dismemberment, Daryl told me he was behind me 100%, whatever I decided. When I said I wanted to give it a shot, we pulled out the atlas and started planning our route. We marked the point where Dad and my brothers would have been starting from, and my farm where they would have been headed.

"When you guys left Louisville, did you leave a note or anything, in case they made it?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah, we told them we were headed to Indy." I rubbed my eyes, realizing that now there was another potential snag I hadn't anticipated. "Shit, they could have gone to fucking Indianapolis," I groaned. "That about doubles our search area."

"Hey darlin', one thing at a time. Where are they most likely to be? Somewhere between Louisville and Lexington, right? And we'll cover some of the ground between Indy and Louisville by heading down from here. If we don't find them the way we go this time, we'll go to Indy next time." He had a couple of colored pencils and was marking the roads we were going to take.

"Oh man, _next time_? You don't think we'll find them this time?"

Daryl leaned over and kissed me. "We are going to find them. No question about it." He went back to his coloring. "Am I the only one Zen around here?"

I put my head in my hands and watched him work. If only I had his confidence.

0000000

Once we had all the details sorted out, I knew I couldn't put off telling Marie any longer. She came over to our place after dinner one night. When I told her what our plans were, she said in no uncertain terms that we were both completely, certifiably insane.

"You're fucking kidding me, right?" she said, looking at me in disbelief.

I shook my head.

She glared at Daryl. "So what, is this your idea? Something to do to relieve your boredom or some shit like that?"

Daryl started to say something, but I interrupted. "This is MY idea. You know that this has been eating at me for months. I just need to know what happened to them. When realized we could go and get back on a tank of gas, we decided we had to at least give it a shot."

Marie snorted. "Sure, that sounds so nice and simple, but you know it probably won't be that easy. What if you can't get through on the roads? What if the car breaks down? It's not like you can call AAA or anything."

"We've thought about all that. We're going to prepare for all the possibilities as much as we can, but we decided we're going to take the chance." I looked over at Daryl, who was now sitting outside, having left to give us some privacy. "And seriously, could I possibly be in better hands than his?"

She laughed. "You have a point there. In more ways that one." She looked at me solemnly. "Stella, what if you don't find them? Or what if you don't like what you find when you get there? Will you be able to handle it?"

I considered that silently for a few minutes, and then said finally, "I think knowing is better than wondering. Even if it's something awful, or even if I don't find anything at all, I'll have at least tried, and I'll feel better knowing that."

Marie didn't look convinced, but she said, "You have one week, OK? If you're not back in one week, I'm never speaking to you again, got it?"

I smiled and hugged her. "One week is all it will take."

0000000

Breaking it to the rest of the group was much easier than telling Marie, although they weren't any happier to hear about it than she was. We had to field the same sort of "Are you both completely batshit insane?" questions, but we would not be deterred. Thankfully, Daryl was an excellent planner and had a response for most of the "what ifs" that they asked. In the end, though, we had to acknowledge that there were a lot of variables that we had no control over. I myself was trying desperately not to focus on all the uncertainties and just concentrate on the fact that we were going to find my family and bring them safely back in the course of one week.

We had talked to the town council about our plans, and they'd agreed to provide enough gas to fill up the truck that Maggie and Glenn had arrived in, plus another two gallons in a container we would stow in the truck bed. In return, we promised to try to find gas while we were out and come back with a full tank, and also scavenge anything useful to bring back to town. Maggie was going to take over the garden temporarily while I was gone to make sure that things kept running smoothly. Carol and Beth suggested we have another party before we left, but I refused, telling them we were just going to be gone a week. _We would be back_. I was trying to reassure myself of that as much as them. _It's just seven days, that's all._

Packing was another trick. We were taking the truck because it had four-wheel drive and got the best gas mileage, but still had room to bring my family back with us, although I didn't envy them having to bounce around in the truck bed over what promised to be pretty shitty roads. We'd sleep in the back of the truck, unless we found some compounds where we could stay. Daryl was pretty wary of that idea, though. He had encountered a lot of asshole and nutjobs on his trek from the prison to our town. Naturally he brought his crossbow and I had my hatchet, and Donnie gave us his .38 to take as a just in case. With clothes, food, and other sundries packed, the truck ended up being pretty crammed.

"I guess we'll have to dump some of this stuff if we find my family," I commented, as Marie and I watched Daryl pack up the last of our stuff.

Overhearing me, Daryl yelled over at us, "What do you mean _if_? Ain't no _if_ about it."

I smiled at him. "Who'd have figured Gun Show for an optimist," Marie laughed. "Well, if nothing else, it's a gorgeous day for a drive."

I looked up at the deep blue sky. It was a clear, cool September morning, and somewhere deep down below all the anxiety about leaving, I felt the tiniest tickle of excitement for our journey.

At the gate, we said our good-byes to everyone. There were a few tears, but mostly people put on their game faces and wished us good luck on our search. Maggie squeezed the air out of me, and then handed me a CD. It was one of the CDs Human Disaster had made that we handed out at our shows.

"What's this for?" I asked. "And where the hell did you find it?" I hadn't seen a CD in ages, since there really was no way to play them.

"I brought it with me when we came here. And there's a CD player in the car," she explained. "I thought you'd want some music for the road."

"Holy shit, I totally forgot about that! Thank you!" I hugged her again. "Love ya, and I'll see you in seven days."

"Love you, too." Marie gave Daryl a steely look as he approached. "You've got one week to bring my girl back, got it?"

Daryl raised his right hand. "I do solemnly swear." To me, he asked, "OK, Funny Girl, are you ready to hit the road?"

My stomach was turning somersaults, but I nodded. Swallowing hard, I forced a grin onto my face. "Yep, let's go."

We climbed into the truck, Daryl turned the key, and the engine roared to life. He leaned over and gave me a kiss. Giving me that fucking irresistible smirk, he asked, "You feelin' pretty Zen?"

I put the CD in and we drove off, windows down, music blaring. Resting my head on the door frame, I replied, "100%." I had no fucking clue how this would turn out, but I was ready to see where the road took us.

_Had a dream, you and me and the war of the end times…._

******last chapter, y'all! i had so much fun writing this, and i kinda left it open for a sequel, but while i was writing this i had a great idea for some non-fanfic, so i'm going to work on that for a while. thanks for all the support & i hope you enjoyed the story!**

**last line is from "calamity song," by the decemberists. **


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